Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
Are you living life or is life living you?
When I lived here, I followed the rhythm that I thought people were supposed to do – going to work and chasing more money to pay for a nicer room (due to the exorbitant rent prices), without even noticing the negative impact my obsession on my work life had on happiness or health. I’d come home shattered after spending so much time and energy on things that now I can’t even remember.
Overthinking Man goes about his day. He wakes up, and his first thoughts are about work. He first thinks about all the different meetings he has in the day. He thinks about all the deadlines he has to meet, and the terrible consequences if he does not meet them. He then thinks about how it’s also his turn to take out the bin. Overthinking Man sighs.
Once Overthinking Man has finished thinking about all the things that will make his day miserable, he treats himself to getting out of bed. Preoccupied by his thoughts, he jumps into the shower but puts shampoo on his body and shower gel in his hair, cuts himself whilst shaving and pours coffee into his cereal.
Overthinking Man cries in anguish. Why is everything out to get him today, what had he done to deserve it?
How much of our reality is based upon our thoughts?
This week I’ve spent time on a retreat in a lovely farm in Kent. I’ve enjoyed getting away from the hustle-and-bustle of my daily routines. This has given me some space to focus on routines and wellbeing.
We spoke about a fellow called Sydney Banks, a man who had a spontaneous enlightenment. He framed these beliefs into what is referred to as the ‘three principles’ – mind, consciousness and thought.
This week I travelled to Copenhagen, the first bit of business travel I’ve done in a number of years.
I didn’t feel particularly energised about travelling. The news of potential queues at airports, fatigue from moving house and lethargy of how to travel (i.e. remembering what to pack and how long to come back to the airport) as well as going to a conference full of new people which still feels weird left me feeling underwhelmed.
I also have quite an intense trip coming up next week where I’ll be around the UK for two weeks in several different cities, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t feel tired before I started that.
There were two big obvious ironies here.
Yesterday was a bank holiday in Belgium so I flicked on a show on Netflix called ‘Insiders’ – a reality TV show which brings together contestants who think they are in the final round of a casting call for a show. What they don’t know is that the camera is already rolling and they are actually already on the show.
it prompted me to think about how differently people behave when they think no one is looking. What is fascinating is that as individuals the people on the show build narratives about their personalities – invincible, brave, caring, loving – and yet when the cameras are ‘off’ (or in this case still on) the behaviour that comes out is completely different.
Letting go of ego-driven behaviour in our lives
Without realising it, my brain has been in overdrive the last few weeks.
I travelled like ‘normal’ for the first time – heading to the UK after work by hopping onto the train on Friday night. I attended The Ultimate Experience, an event around ‘Being’ – choosing who we want to be and being challenged to go further in the way I live my life.
The idea that we can decide who we want to be in life is both extremely liberating and daunting – I can effectively decide what personality I want to have, and I do not need to be driven by my ego in terms of how I react to situations, nor be defined by my labelled identity.
I am exhausted, and have a stomach ache. I don’t feel like cooking and want to order a takeaway. What would not bothering to cook even though I committed to it earlier in the day say about me? I am stressed, as I have a train to catch. I might easily fall into ignoring basic […]
When we want to change something, it can often be hard to figure out what we want to change. The easy part is to say that whatever we have right now is not working for us, and that we need to shift this into another thing. But the harder part is deciding what this new thing we want to do should be.
The focus can quickly become on how bad everything is right now, and therefore the change is needed to fix things. Change in of itself becomes the solution, whatever that change might be.
Whilst this is perhaps a good starting point, most of the time it is not enough to want change for change sake.
‘I’d love to do that! My problem is that I find it tough to find the motivation’
How often do we hear this phrase?
We treat the idea of motivation as a sacred, finite resource akin to a rare gem. It is our version of the Felix Felicius from Harry Potter, a mysterious potion of unknowable quantity that enables us to do magic things.
So can we simply rid ourselves of the idea of motivation? Perhaps, perhaps not. I will let you decide that for yourself. But I do believe we can stop focussing on motivation. Instead, we can look to create commitment, with which we are far more likely to reach our goals.