I’ve been feeling low rather regularly in the last week. It’s really been at odds with what’s happening in my life. Broadly speaking, I’m actually on the up.
Yet as I regain my connection with the world, I also regain my connection with its pains. And right now, the world is in a lot of pain.
Seeing what is happening right now in Gaza is devastating. My soul has been longing for some space for sadness. After a period of time, perhaps I’m finally giving it.
Category: Personal Development
Riding the emotional downs without guilt
For the last few weeks, I’ve been waking up feeling pretty ‘ugh’.
The film Inside Out 2 introduced a new character to personify this. The character was called ‘ennui’, with a stereotypical French manner of ‘bof’.
Ennui is essentially a feeling of disinterest and melancholy. It’s a good description of how I’ve been often feeling in the mornings and late in the evenings. (Although I preferred the first film better)
If I spend too much time thinking about it, I can end up getting super frustrated. After all, how can we have so many emotional shifts within the space of a single day?
What the human body teach us about healing
A few days ago I went to the Osteopath for a pain in my left shoulder.
The pain is nothing new. I’ve had this pain whenever I do a few sessions of yoga. It’s come back ever since I’ve restarted classes a few weeks ago.
Perhaps now was probably the time to actually fix it, rather than just constantly managing the situation.
Why we need to stop ‘grinding’ for success
Competitive culture is getting us obsessed with grinding. The answer to any setback in life just seems to be to try harder. But grinding is not healthy. And often, it’s actually very counterproductive.
It is true that many valuable things require hard work. Healthy relationships, successful careers and good fitness take work. But hard work is different to grinding.
This is something I’ve had to learn the hard way.
On the challenges of creating a community
One thing I’ve noticed recently is how people seem to be crawling out the woodwork. After a long period of post-COVID isolation, I’m noticing more efforts to unite together. Perhaps this is just my view in Brussels. Perhaps it’s because people are feeling driven to be more active due to the politics. Or perhaps it’s […]
How our fantasies create more of our suffering
During my Vipassana meditation, I heard a distinction that I hadn’t come across before. Well, at least, not in this way.
When we start doing the process of internal healing, we are often called to action by the overpowering feeling of our fears and anxieties.
This was a concept that I felt I understood pretty well. Yet what I also heard was pleasant feelings can also create suffering too.
‘But surely, feeling nice is good?’
Yet it was here that I learnt something that has dramatically and permanently improved my mental wellbeing.
What I learnt from 10 days of silent meditation
This month, I packed my bags, turned off my phone and took a train to the Flemish countryside for a 10 day Vipassana course.
The idea of the course is to learn the technique to observe the subtler realities of our existence as a means to end suffering. This is done by breathwork and body exercises.
It’s pretty hard to put into words what my experience was really like. It was intense, exhausting and brutal. But it was also reaffirming, calming, and uplifting too.
Yet I ended up learning far more about myself than I had expected.
How to prepare for the unprepareable
I will be off the grid for the next ten days. I am attending a 10 day Vipassanna meditation. That means no phones or outside contact. It’s not a retreat – the meditation takes place in silence, with entertainment, including reading or journalling not allowed.
The timetable is also strict. There is a 4am wake-up and set times for each day. So it’s certainly not a holiday experience.
A few friends have asked: how have I prepared for what will be a very intense experience?
How much desire should we have in our lives?
Everyday we are constantly prompted by things we should desire.
During our weekly shop, the supermarket shelves are stacked with new, tasty products with shiny offers to tempt us. When we go to social events, our friends demonstrate a cool new trendy item of clothing. And when we commence our doomscrolling, social media apps bombard us with targeted ads of things to buy.
Yet one thing I’ve noticed over the last year is how much less I seem to desire these things. My general sense of ‘wanting’ has been extremely dulled.
When I reflect on this, I came to the question: is this enlightenment, or is this depression?
Why I feel I’m not allowed to protest
This weekend is protest galore in Brussels. Today there is a march for International Women’s Day, whilst tomorrow there is a protest against the new ‘Arizona’ government coalition taking up power in Belgium.
Yet, I’ve always felt a hesitancy around ever participating in a protest. There is something about participating in one that sets off an internal trigger warning that says ‘that’s a bad idea’.