
This month, I packed my bags, turned off my phone and took a train to the Flemish countryside for a 10 day Vipassana course.
The idea of the course is to learn the technique to observe the subtler realities of our existence as a means to end suffering. This is done by breathwork and body exercises.
It’s pretty hard to put into words what my experience was really like. It was intense, exhausting and brutal. But it was also reaffirming, calming, and uplifting too.
Yet I ended up learning far more about myself than I had expected.
The programme follows a rigid schedule. Wake up at 4am, with meditation throughout the day until 9pm. There are breaks for eating, with remaining times for short walks and catching up on sleep.
Throughout my time coaching, I had always talked about the idea that the ‘answer is within’. Yet this was the first time that I experienced this so deeply. I started noticing much more concretely how my body reacts to nutrition and pain. I realised that my challenges with food has actually been around how sensitive and overpowering certain signals can be for me.
For example, my hunger pains can be so loud that it drowns out the reactions of my gut. I’ve been so keen to quieten these pains that I’ve been eating heavier, and faster. It’s for me to control my hunger, not for it to control me. I can eat slowly, even if I’m super hungry. Interestingly, this insight was not prompted by any actual specific discussion around food and diet. Instead, these were things that I learnt intuitively by experiencing my body more deeply.
The course is based upon the teachings and practises of Buddha. Yet it sets out very clearly that this is not in an attempt to convert anyone or force them into a new religion or tradition. Instead, it was focussed on the universality of our experiences, and the fact that we all face suffering. The technique is for everyone as it is how we can learn to lift ourselves out of our misery.
The key learning for me was the idea of using the body as a conduit. We can intellectually understand something like Dhamma– the universal law of nature. In a nutshell Dhamma is that doing good deeds will lead to good outcomes for us, whilst doing bad deeds will result in bad outcomes for us.
But the point here was to actually understand this at the experiential level, i.e. experiencing this truth within the body. And so the meditation was focussed around the observation of what is happening inside. First by observing the breath, then by feeling the sensations throughout the body.
When we learn to quietly observe what is happening in our bodies, we can learn to not get overpowered by these sensations. It also allows us to get to a state of equanimity: essentially that we no longer fear unpleasant sensations, nor start craving pleasant sensations either. This is what creates and multiplies our misery.
There is more to it than what I am describing here. But this captures the general idea behind it all. The Buddha created a particular meditation technique for this, and so the course was essentially a bootcamp to learn this practice in as efficient way as possible.
I’ve only just come out of the course, so I want more time to make a final verdict. Nonetheless, I think that it has crystalised thoughts which had already been floating around in my head. Although this has not magically ‘cured’ my lingering sense of fatigue/burnout, I think it has done a whole lot of good. Furthermore, it’s given me a clear meditation practice that I can do that is tested and proven to improve my life.
There are many more weird and wonderful tales from what came up throughout my ten days, but I won’t go into them here. If you’re particularly interested, you can drop me a message and ask.
Would I recommend the course? Yes, I think it is a tool that will be valuable for anyone who grasps it. But it is a very intense experience, and people will need to be prepared for what they are signing up for. You don’t have to be perfectly prepared, but be ready to undertake what is being asked of you. Again, if you want to know more about what it’s like, I’m happy to share.
As for me, I’ll see how I integrate what I learned into my life. I’m fortunate that I have some time and space to do so. I also have the humility to realise that doing this course does not make me magically different or better either.
The law of nature is the same for me as it is for everyone else:
If I want the benefits, I have to do the work.