I woke up this morning at 6:40 for a yoga class starting 30 minutes later. When I woke up, I felt heavy – I still am not sleeping amazingly and I didn’t have a whole lot of will to actually go. Despite this, I went anyway, but I wouldn’t say I particularly enjoyed it. I was tired, and my mind was waiting for it to end from the beginning.
I was speaking to someone recently about this phenomenon – the trap where we programme ourselves to stop enjoying the things that we actually usually like. We reminisce about the excitement we had before, but now the idea of doing the task feels like a chore, or another item on the to-do-list which doesn’t fit into what we see as our busy schedules.
The funny thing is that the activity doesn’t really change much. The yoga class I did was the same Friday morning class I’ve done for months. Yet the energy I was bringing into it was heavy and lethargic. Unsurprisingly I didn’t feel particularly fulfilled when the class ended, instead I just had some sense of relief that it was over. It was hardly the joyful sense of achievement I often get when doing a morning class.
So why is it that if the class is the same, the outcome is completely different?
It’s all about me. Just like it is all about you. We get to decide how we show up to a session. My mind was not particularly focussed, and I found myself thinking about what I had to do later in the day whilst in class. When I am in a space of tranquillity and stillness, I’m able to fully experience the joy that the things I like give to me. I wasn’t in that state today.
So what can we do? Well firstly, it’s important to identify the fact that the way something makes us think and feel is the determining factor, rather than the activity itself. We can make any activity either the most enjoyable or most painful if we bring that energy into it.
I recall a cold call I got earlier this week. It was for an offshore investment, or something of the sort. I had a similar call a few months ago, and I ended up getting annoyed by the guy and ending it quite abruptly. This time, I wanted to simply enjoy the interaction, whatever it was. I actually decided to have a little fun.
“Hi Tahmid, my name is X. I’m calling from XYZ company. How are you doing today?”
“Hi X, I am doing well thank you, for asking. In fact, I am going through an intense transformation in my life as I re-evaluate what I would like to do and how I want to be in it. I am going through numerous shifts including with my living arrangements with a new housemate moving in. I am also committing to be a better person in my life through how I interact with people which has felt a challenging but humbling experience and makes me realise where I can do better.”
I did this because I was amused to see what the response of the guy on the other end would be. To his credit he tried to respond to it, but I don’t imagine that response was on his sales script!
I told a few people about this as one of my funny stories of the week. I made what could have been an annoying phone call actually one of my highlights. The difference was the energy I brought into it.
So how does this all relate to the activities that you do? Well, it means that keeping our mind open and curious is the best way to enjoy the things we do. When we are enjoying life and willing to have fun with it, everything just feels so much easier.
When I began writing these articles, I really enjoyed the opportunity to express my creativity. It was great – until I made it a thing *I had to do*. It then became a chore, and I went through a period of lacking creativity. I ended up stopping for several months. After a break, I restarted. I learnt the importance of enjoying the process, and not getting too bogged down with it all. I’ve written weekly articles now for probably a few months. When I haven’t written one, I usually get an itch (like I did this morning). It doesn’t feel like a chore, instead it feels like an opportunity to express what is happening in my life. Basically, it’s fun to write.
So if you are finding that you are not enjoying something that you usually do, it’s most likely not about the activity itself, but how you are doing. If your thoughts are making it a burdensome or complicated activity, your response will be a natural repulsion to the idea. But when you let go of the negative thoughts that you might bring into the situation, and take the activity is at its face value, the joy of it will return.
So if I can leave you with one tip, it is to move away from the thinking about what you have to do, and instead just diving straight into it. That way, you don’t have to bring all the excess baggage into it. From there, you can enjoy it to your hearts content.
What activity are you doing that you enjoy?