I’ve been having a lot of insights about my life this week. Travel can really help – it gives us a chance to get out of our daily rhythm and notice our own habitual patterns. Last weekend I went to Paris.
The decision to go for two days to Paris was quite spontaneous. I went to Stockholm a few weeks ago and enjoyed the space of exploration, so I thought it would be good to have another opportunity to travel. Rather than leaving that to some distant future, I decided to book this impromptu trip for only two weeks later.
I’d previously studied in Paris too for a year in 2013, so perhaps I felt some level of calling to return. I thought it would be a good opportunity to take in some nostalgia whilst also enjoy a whimsical tour around the city.
My experience was different to what I expected. I thought I would plan out my time there and jump around the different ‘cool’ spots to see. I did go and see the Eiffel Tower, but in the end the majority of my time was actually just spent walking around the city.
On Sunday, I was planning to head into a few of the museums. When I saw the queue for the Louvre, I followed my gut to head across the bridge towards the Musée d’Orsay instead. But half-way down, I started getting a few different flashbacks of my time sitting by the banks of the Seine in the evenings. I followed my feet. I ended up walking down the banks by the side of the seine. I enjoyed a fun exploration of the arts and book stalls (where I spent quite a lot of money on different pieces..) as well as just recalling different memories of the city.
Some memories were more light-hearted. I remembered seeing the Louvre in the early morning after a night out, when it was completely empty. The light was just rising and the streets were so empty. The glass pyramid looked so still and impressive. It was a completely different scene to the one I came across – filled with tourists queueing to get in, with the hustle and bustle of street sellers and people taking pictures.
I also walked past Les Halles – a big shopping centre right in the middle of the city. I was confused to see it actually complete, in my mind it had always been a construction site, so to see it as a fully-fledged mall was a surprise. I wondered in to see an advert saying ‘Follow-nous’ on social media. I imagined someone from the Acédemie Française probably had a heart attack from seeing that!
I took a turn down Le Marais, which is also close by. I suddenly had memories of a student job I had – English-speaking babysitting. I remember picking up a 6 year old from school here. That child had behavioural issues, so I have no idea why the parents wanted to also teach him English when he was failing school. My sense was that there was no discipline in his life, but I only saw part of the picture.
I don’t particularly miss those days. A lowpoint was when this child went to the toilet and presumably(?) was not properly potty trained. It was at the point where I had to wipe the backside of this child that I realised I wasn’t being paid enough. Funny to reflect now at how much had changed for me since.
I also had more intense memories. I walked back past the place I used to live. I had a rush of pretty heavy emotions – something I didn’t expect. Although I remember getting a lot out of my time in Paris, I had pushed away some of the more negative memories. There were long stretches of feeling isolated and stressed around money and studies. Like many men, I internalised my feelings and thought the best way to deal with these things were to handle it for myself.
I didn’t particularly reach out to friends or family about these things either. It was surprisingly emotional. But returning to the place was particularly valuable for me. It let me revisit parts of my past which were buried somewhere. Sometimes we have to revisit these emotions to realise they are there. From there, we can accept and let them go. The process leaves us feeling lighter.
This made me reflect about how I ended up coming to Paris in the first place. There was no particular reason I decided to come back, yet I ended up doing it anyway. My walk around town was not my usual ‘planning’ self, instead it was me following my own intuition.
I’ve come to the conclusion that something within me led me to return to Paris. It was an important part of my own journey to grow and heal. Whilst my mind did not plan it, my intuition knew that there was something for me to uncover.
This was one of the first times I hadn’t properly planned a trip. Instead, this was me wondering around and seeing where the path would lead me. In stark contrast, whenever I had previously visited a place I would usually build myself a tight itinerary of museums and places to visit. I would usually criss-cross around a city to get the ‘most’ out of a visit.
Instead, I slowed down and let my wisdom guide me. Yes, there were things that might have been nice to see. I did go to the Louvre the next day, but I took it slowly. I could have gone to see more museums, or even to see different parts of the city like Montmartre to see the view again. But when I realised that I have my whole lifetime to enjoy these different sites, I realised that there was no real benefit in rushing. All I was doing was losing the enjoyment of the moment.
I see my trip to Paris as part of my shift towards living more intuitively, compared to the mind-driven planning with which I have been directing much of my life. Whilst the mind can be a powerful tool to comprehend complex and detailed questions, our intuition can comprehend much bigger things. I see our intuition as bringing the link of our mind with the wider understanding of our body and spirit.
In our logic-driven society, we lose sight of the power of intuition. The quiet, knowing voice of ourselves often gets drowned out by the busy mind. But when we know, we know. Our minds can sometimes fall into overthink or anxiety, but deep down we have the answer to all the questions we have in life.
My trip to Paris was just an instance of me following my own intuition. But the rewards I got for it will be far more impactful than the additional photos I could have taken from rushing to visit more parts of the city.
The lesson I have learnt this week is that the more I find myself tapping into my intuition, the more I am finding I have a guidance of what to do in life. It is a powerful tool that we all have inside of us.
Intuition is always there. All we have to do is listen for it.