Tag: #personaldevelopment

Why I do not need to be the arbiter of justice

How many times have you felt wronged by someone? Feeling the anger seeth through you, you feel the need to argue what the other person did was wrong. And if they don’t understand, you think about how they should pay for their actions.

I’ve felt conflicted for a long time on how we deal with people who are doing bad things. On the one hand, I want to practice the art of forgiveness, demonstrating that I am not holding a grudge. This is particularly the case when the slight is small – forgetting to thank me for something, or being a bit rude in the morning.

But on the other hand, I wonder whether I am being complicit in their actions. Should I not make it known that what they have done is wrong?

On the challenges of creating a community

One thing I’ve noticed recently is how people seem to be crawling out the woodwork. After a long period of post-COVID isolation, I’m noticing more efforts to unite together. Perhaps this is just my view in Brussels. Perhaps it’s because people are feeling driven to be more active due to the politics. Or perhaps it’s […]

How our fantasies create more of our suffering

During my Vipassana meditation, I heard a distinction that I hadn’t come across before. Well, at least, not in this way.
When we start doing the process of internal healing, we are often called to action by the overpowering feeling of our fears and anxieties.

This was a concept that I felt I understood pretty well. Yet what I also heard was pleasant feelings can also create suffering too.

‘But surely, feeling nice is good?’
Yet it was here that I learnt something that has dramatically and permanently improved my mental wellbeing.

How to prepare for the unprepareable

I will be off the grid for the next ten days. I am attending a 10 day Vipassanna meditation. That means no phones or outside contact. It’s not a retreat – the meditation takes place in silence, with entertainment, including reading or journalling not allowed.

The timetable is also strict. There is a 4am wake-up and set times for each day. So it’s certainly not a holiday experience.

A few friends have asked: how have I prepared for what will be a very intense experience?

How much desire should we have in our lives?

Everyday we are constantly prompted by things we should desire.

During our weekly shop, the supermarket shelves are stacked with new, tasty products with shiny offers to tempt us. When we go to social events, our friends demonstrate a cool new trendy item of clothing. And when we commence our doomscrolling, social media apps bombard us with targeted ads of things to buy.

Yet one thing I’ve noticed over the last year is how much less I seem to desire these things. My general sense of ‘wanting’ has been extremely dulled.

When I reflect on this, I came to the question: is this enlightenment, or is this depression?

Why I feel I’m not allowed to protest

This weekend is protest galore in Brussels. Today there is a march for International Women’s Day, whilst tomorrow there is a protest against the new ‘Arizona’ government coalition taking up power in Belgium.

Yet, I’ve always felt a hesitancy around ever participating in a protest. There is something about participating in one that sets off an internal trigger warning that says ‘that’s a bad idea’.

The allure of escaping our responsibilities

I went home for a few days this week.
It was nice to be at home, with no real responsibilities. I had clean clothes, clean sheets and home cooked meals readily available from my mum. It was a chance for me to basically just disappear from the world.
For an alluring moment, I had the thought that maybe this is all I needed from life. After all, aren’t home comforts great?
Yet, I realised that such a view was a fantasy. I did not really want to abandon my life.

Re-learning to enjoy the little things

When we get so caught up in what we need to do, we can lose the joy in the day-to-day activities.

The focus often turns to efficiency, rather than pleasure. The relaxing morning coffee turns into a rushed caffiene consumption. The calming walk outside in nature turns into a step-counting exercise.

It seems to be happening more often to people around me. As we get squeezed into a sense of productivity, the focus is always how we can get more out of ourselves, squeezing the lemon that is our soul for every ounce.