I will be off the grid for the next ten days. I am attending a 10 day Vipassanna meditation. That means no phones or outside contact. It’s not a retreat – the meditation takes place in silence, with entertainment, including reading or journalling not allowed.
The timetable is also strict. There is a 4am wake-up and set times for each day. So it’s certainly not a holiday experience.
A few friends have asked: how have I prepared for what will be a very intense experience?
Everyday we are constantly prompted by things we should desire.
During our weekly shop, the supermarket shelves are stacked with new, tasty products with shiny offers to tempt us. When we go to social events, our friends demonstrate a cool new trendy item of clothing. And when we commence our doomscrolling, social media apps bombard us with targeted ads of things to buy.
Yet one thing I’ve noticed over the last year is how much less I seem to desire these things. My general sense of ‘wanting’ has been extremely dulled.
When I reflect on this, I came to the question: is this enlightenment, or is this depression?
This weekend is protest galore in Brussels. Today there is a march for International Women’s Day, whilst tomorrow there is a protest against the new ‘Arizona’ government coalition taking up power in Belgium.
Yet, I’ve always felt a hesitancy around ever participating in a protest. There is something about participating in one that sets off an internal trigger warning that says ‘that’s a bad idea’.
I went home for a few days this week.
It was nice to be at home, with no real responsibilities. I had clean clothes, clean sheets and home cooked meals readily available from my mum. It was a chance for me to basically just disappear from the world.
For an alluring moment, I had the thought that maybe this is all I needed from life. After all, aren’t home comforts great?
Yet, I realised that such a view was a fantasy. I did not really want to abandon my life.
Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash Over the last few years I’ve been more directly entering into grass root and radical spaces. On the one hand, I am inspired by the way in which these spaces can bring a sense of altruism and caring. There is a vision for a better world, even […]
Photo by David Knox on Unsplash I’ve pretty much always been interested in politics. Yet even saying that out loud feels a little weird. The last few years, I’ve actively gone out of my way to avoid political conversation. I got to the point that I believed that I’m better served being away from it. […]
When we get so caught up in what we need to do, we can lose the joy in the day-to-day activities.
The focus often turns to efficiency, rather than pleasure. The relaxing morning coffee turns into a rushed caffiene consumption. The calming walk outside in nature turns into a step-counting exercise.
It seems to be happening more often to people around me. As we get squeezed into a sense of productivity, the focus is always how we can get more out of ourselves, squeezing the lemon that is our soul for every ounce.
We all want to belong. Even the most reclusive, Grinch-like people we know deep down desire it.
The modern day message is that when we do not belong, we should simply move on. The magical land of belonging is just beyond the hill, over the rainbow.
Yet what if searching for such sense of belonging is just but a fool’s dream?
I’ve spent so much time in the city recently, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be in the countryside.
In fact, most of my life has been in city dwellings. It’s a little ironic, because my ancestral history has been from a village in rural Sylhet.
There’s something about being away from people, noise and organisations. When we spend so much time in the busy rush, we forget that such things aren’t a definitive fact. We did not always exist surrounded by thousands and thousands of people. In fact, for most of human history we have spent time in relatively small settlements.
A new year has come along. Many people are settling back into work in the midst of fog and ice.
It sounds very fantasy novel, but the realities are anything but. A backlog of emails and a return to the feelings of tiredness and stress. It’s like we never went away.
We are a product of the entourage we find ourselves in. And the entourage I am in are feeling an extra level of downtrodden and tired.
If this is how you’re feeling right now, this is your big, fat, blaring warning sign. You are potentially on the cusp of breaking down. In fact, you already might be.