We often spend a lot of time fantasising about our next great escape. But what does that say about how we are feeling right now?
I’m travelling to India for ten days. In fact, I’m writing this on my layover in Istanbul Airport. I’ll arrive in Delhi in about 9 hours.
I felt called to go to India to attend The Ultimate Experience in Mumbai next weekend. I got so much out of being at the event in London last year, I knew this would be a really powerful and life changing experience. I also wanted to make the trip worthwhile, so I am spending some time travelling across a few cities first.
I’m certain I am going to enjoy my trip. And yet, I’ve spent very little amount of time beforehand dreaming about the wonderful adventures I’m going to have.
Part of this is a part of being a seasoned traveler – a lot of people would feel stressed about a solo trip around a few cities on the other side of the world. But for me, I have done solo travel before and have worked on my inner being (it’s one of the reasons I’m going out there!) – I trust myself to know how to deal with any situation that comes my way.
Aside from booking travel and accommodation, I’ve done little day-to-day planning, giving myself the creative space to enjoy the sights in front of me. Perhaps it’s also an understanding that I am travelling to a world that works in a different way – you don’t need long forward planning to do certain activities as you may do in the West.
A few days ago I started wondering whether I ‘should’ be feeling more excited about my trip. After all, isn’t the excitement part of the fun part. In the midst of my active life, was I missing something?
We’ve all had friends reminisce about amazing journeys, quickly moving onto the next exciting adventure that they want to go on. It’s inspiring and it can be a great motivator to go out and see the world.
And yet, when we look a bit deeper, I also have seen a sense of escapism seeping through this whole mentality. What often follows this grand tale is a sigh, and a resignation of returning back to ‘reality’. Are the places we travel to also not reality?
The underlying message within this is that the grind of our current life/job/relationship/place is not ‘enough’. We learn to simply exist until we get the next opportunity to escape for a few weeks.
Part of the reason I haven’t spent much time thinking about my experience in India is because I know I’ll have a great time when I am there anyway. By being present to the moments before the travel, I could fully experience those activities – work, calls and social catch-ups. I had all of those in the days running up to my flight. I was fully present with them, even though I knew I was travelling soon.
Ironically, by being more present to my day-to-day experience, I am strengthening the muscle which will allow me to enjoy my travels more fully. Many of us escape to exotic destinations for a sense of respite, only to find our minds are still stuck on our emails and meetings.
My travel to Delhi so far has been some of the smoothest I think I’ve ever had. With the absence of stress and overthink, I’ve hit a very happy medium of enough planning (getting my visa, flights and medicine) with relaxing the mind to the motion of taking in new stimulus. I probably had the best four hour flight watching some coaching videos. I’ll have another 7 hours later today which I think will also be great.
I choose to go on this adventure because I want to, not because I need an escape. This difference in intention means I will enjoy it far more. When I get to the final day, rather than panic about returning, I can simply accept this experience for what it is.
Many people are looking for a quick fix to the issues around them. Unfortunately, they do not see that the solution is rarely to jump on a plane to get away. When we are unhappy and look to change our location, we often find that the unhappiness travels with us. It’s because the thing we are unhappy with isn’t our job or spouse, but ourselves.
So the moment we can learn to love ourselves truly is the moment we no longer need a cool-sounding trip to fill a void. The inner work of finding contentment is a priceless gift. It also means that when we do get the opportunity to do it, it’s a nice bonus, rather than a requirement.
Live your life fully. Whether you’re at the beach or in the office, you can be equally happy.
What are you escaping from?