Author: tahmidchowdhury

Welcoming our unpleasant feelings as friends

In the quest for the nice feelings, we implicitly learn that the unpleasant feelings are bad. So we look to avoid the pain and sadness, after all, why feel those feelings when we can feel happy?
Many of us spend a lot of time avoiding things that make us uncomfortable, or look to distract ourselves when we are sad. Even when we are finally forced to face these feelings, we bare through it with gritted teeth.

I have been reflecting on this theme as I have battled through a biting cough and severe sore throat over the last few days. In the past, this would be the cue for me to be frustrated at my body, and look at how inconvenient this all was.
But this time, I took time to appreciate what my body was telling me. It was time for me to slow down and heal

Take a stand for the power of your work

‘It’s not too bad’
‘I could have worked on it more’
‘Hopefully it will help’.
These are all phrases I’ve used when talking about my book, Make Diversity Matter to You. But what am I saying about myself if I am not really willing to believe in what I am creating?

I know that this experience is not unique to me. In the fear of being seen as arrogant, many of us shyly meander around when talking about our own creations. It feels much more comfortable to avoid the idea that what we have created might be good. After all, who are we to be special?

I’ve received a powerful message over the last few weeks about the importance of taking a stand for my own work. If I don’t tell people about the transformative effect reading my book can have, then less people are likely to read it. And even if they do, no one will read it with the idea that it can be so valuable.

Life lesson 101: the more you give, the more you receive

This is article no. 101. So I thought I would share a life lesson 101: the more you give, the more you receive.

Giving is so powerful, yet we often get caught up in worrying about what is in it for us. Even when we want to be generous people, this falls away when we are stressed or lose sight of the bigger picture.
When we get in the mindset of thinking about what we are taking, we lose sight of the reciprocal nature of humanity.

How often have we experienced that friend who only reaches out to us when they need something? We can label these people as the ‘takers’ – we learn their patterns, and quickly become suspicious whenever they sporadically contact us. ‘What do they want this time?’. Whether it’s money or one-way emotional support, the conversation is about them and their problems.

I wrote a post earlier this week about how I’ve given out over 30 copies of my book, Make Diversity Matter to You for free. Economically, this does not make sense. I’ve already spent more money giving out this book then I have earnt from sales.

Putting yourself out there is scary. But it is also incredibly rewarding

According to LinkedIn, this is my 100th article.

I had no idea I would do this many. Yet when writing becomes a habitual moment of joy, everything else just flows. If I had spent too much time focussing on writing 100 articles, rather than just enjoying writing, I doubt I would have made it to this many. Let’s see if I make it to 1000 articles!

The theme around ‘putting myself out there’ feels very appropriate. My first article back in August 2020 was a nervous foray to sharing my thoughts to a public audience. I am so glad I made the step to do it. It started a new source of contentment and a new identity for me as a writer.

This week has also been a new, nerve-wracking adventure. On Saturday, I published my book, Make Diversity Matter to You.
There isn’t anything quite as exposing as putting a piece of work out there with your name on it. I still feel free around whether the content is of a good enough quality, or whether I’m charging too much for the book. Despite knowing that people enjoy my writing, that early feedback of pre-release versions was positive and that I’m happy with the content, I still feel nervous.

Birthing the creation of a book – Make Diversity Matter To You

The events of the killing of George Floyd shocked the world, and triggered a renewed and profound focus around the Black Lives Matter movement. Although the events took place in the USA, it was clear that this was the tip of the iceberg on a long-awaited discussion about race issues across the world.

I was locked up during the pandemic when the events took place. But like many people, I was keen to do something. Also, like many people, I wasn’t really sure what I could really do to make a change.

Then, in November 2020 I had an idea to write a book.

The book itself is a manifestation of my commitment to love and serve others. I wrote it with the genuine will to help people understand the topic of diversity and inclusion for themselves. I truly believe that the book will be a powerful tool to help anyone who picks it up to understand themselves better and be an actor for change.

You can check out the site page on Amazon where I’ll be self-publishing. The Kindle edition is currently available to pre-order, but there will be a paperback version on the site shortly.

There is no past. There is no future. There is only now.

I generally like to keep on top of my work, but recently I’ve found myself procrastinating. Sometimes I know a deadline isn’t coming for a while, so I can put it off. I believed that the time to do it was sometime in the future.

But it’s not just the future – it’s also the past. I found myself lingering around past thoughts. A conversation someone had with me. I relive the frustration or anger, as if it were happening today. Suddenly these emotions are seeping into the feelings I’m having right now.

Most of us tend to see-saw between these alternate realities. Either we are stuck in the past, or wondering about the future. But what if neither of them actually exist?

Living life more intuitively – an impromptu trip to Paris

I’ve been having a lot of insights about my life this week. Travel can really help – it gives us a chance to get out of our daily rhythm and notice our own habitual patterns. Last weekend I went to Paris.
My experience was different to what I expected. I thought I would plan out my time there and jump around the different ‘cool’ spots to see. I did go and see the Eiffel Tower, but in the end the majority of my time was actually just spent walking around the city.
My walk around town was not my usual ‘planning’ self, instead it was me following my own intuition.

How to keep the joy in the activities you enjoy

I woke up this morning at 6:40 for a yoga class starting 30 minutes later. When I woke up, I felt heavy – I still am not sleeping amazingly and I didn’t have a whole lot of will to actually go. Despite this, I went anyway, but I wouldn’t say I particularly enjoyed it. I was tired, and my mind was waiting for it to end from the beginning.
I was speaking to someone recently about this phenomenon – the trap where we programme ourselves to stop enjoying the things that we actually usually like. We reminisce about the excitement we had before, but now the idea of doing the task feels like a chore, or another item on the to-do-list which doesn’t fit into what we see as our busy schedules.
So why is it that if the class is the same, the outcome is completely different?

Prioritising the important over the urgent

This week I travelled to Stockholm. Although work trips are an exciting opportunity to travel, I must admit I wasn’t particularly energised by the idea. I’ve been somewhat worn out over the last few weeks.
But it was important for me to go. From a professional perspective, I attended a conference which was extremely rewarding.
And for me personally, it was also an opportunity to go out and see more of the world. Travel can be enriching for the soul, and taking new culture can be deeply inspiring.
Both travelling to Stockholm and taking time to visit were me realising what was important, over what was urgent.

Mistakes interviewees make – from a panellist’s point of view

In the last two months I’ve been doing various interviews for roles within our office. It made me reflect at how jarring the interview experience can be for someone who may be looking for a new role, particularly if you’re just starting your career.

It took me a long time to understand what was really asked for in interviews for office jobs. Now, on the other end of the table it’s interesting to observe how different people come out in practice. So I thought I’d share these reflections which might help you avoid the pitfalls if you’re in the midst of applying for a new role.