Category: Personal Development

On being more forthright with your opinions

When it comes to sharing our own opinions, many of us get in a pickle.
On the one hand, we feel our internal psyche telling us something that needs to be said. Sometimes this might not be particular popular or welcome.
On the other hand, we are wary of becoming like those people who say things to the point of obnoxiousness. I think we all know people who perhaps are a little too confident.
So how do we get to the sweet spot of sharing an opinion clearly, especially when it goes against the grain?

Things are difficult right now, it’s not your imagination

Although I’ve been relatively insular in recent times, I can’t help but feel what is going on in the world.

Things feel tough for people. I’m not really seeing many people truly thriving. It feels like a lot of us are stuck in a broken system.

Perspective is always helpful. I’ve been editing my father’s biography, where he talks about coming to the UK in the 70s. He came as a student, integrated, saw an opportunity, opened a business and eventually thrived.

In modern times, such a venture would be crazy. The price of renting a physical space is incredibly high, to the point where you just couldn’t get a loan to do this. You would need some sort of financial backing beforehand.

Things are difficult right now, it’s not your imagination

A polite reminder to see how far you’ve come

Whenever I see a post telling us to remember what we’ve achieved, I tend to scoff a little.

It feels a bit cheesy. It is like an invitation for self-congratulation, which feels even more bizarre when it often comes in response to facing a current hardship. Why look back, when the thing that we’re meant to be facing is staring right in front of us?

Yet as is often the case with common wisdoms, there is usually truth behind them. That’s probably why they stand the test of time.

Sometimes looking back is actually very important. When we don’t go back to seeing what we achieve, it’s hard for us to have a sense of momentum or pride upon what we’ve overcome. Without these things, our task becomes even harder.

I don’t believe that I should be authentic

I was at a work party once a number of years ago. We were speaking about ourselves, so cue a moment of self-effacing humour.

I uttered the words ‘I think people like me, until they get to know me’.
Although I’ve left the UK, one thing that will never leave me is my dry British humour. It can be a little funny when this takes people by surprise, particularly now living in the continent.

Yet no joke is funny unless it has some level of truth hidden underneath.

Getting back into a life of structure

I’ll be starting a new role in September. It draws a line under a rather chaotic period in my life.

What started off getting signed off for a week of sick leave in February 2024 turned into an 18 month descent into executive dysfunction and existential crises. It wasn’t all bad, but it was pretty rough.

Honestly, the toughest part was having nothing to do. The emptiness during the day has felt harrowing. People I know are working. Most social activities happen during the evening. So what do I do for the next 8 hours, sitting here, all alone?

On dealing with the unfairness of life

I woke up a few days ago. But when I got out of bed, I had a shot of pain. Putting weight on my right foot hurt a lot. I could barely step without wincing.
What caused this grand injury? I’m not actually really sure.

The night before, I did a dance class and walked around without problem. Before going to bed, I had zero pains.

I’m feeling quite bitter about this. I feel like I’ve done nothing to really provoke such an injury.

Doing a diagnostic on our daily anxieties

How often are you feeling anxious during the day?

For me, that number has turned out to be a lot higher than I realised.

I came back to Brussels on Monday after a visit to my parents in London. When I’m with my parents, a lot of my daily responsibilities are put on hold. I’m privileged to have a space where I don’t have to cook or clean.

But I had a slight anxiety attack the moment I came back into Brussels. On the floor, I saw a letter in my name, without any obvious sender. Cue a sense of panic.

Avoiding the trap of constant negativity

I’m back for a visit in London. I’m here to see my parents. Partly to do my familial duties. Partly to get a free birthday meal. Partly to get the rest of my mum’s cooking back to Brussels.

I noticed myself getting into a spiral where I felt quite sour around the idea of coming back. I’d remark of returning to the ‘sinking island’. I’m totally justified in having such an opinion. Indeed, we’re all entitled to one.

Yet what I need to be careful of is falling into the negative spiral of seeing everything so negatively. If I’m not careful, it will turn any trip I have here into one of misery and anger.

Another year of revolving around the sun

Each year, I write a reflective post around the time of my birthday.
This year, I’m not really sure what to say. It is as if my mind has become even more fogged in confusion than ever before.
One of the ironies of life is that the more we learn, the less we seem to understand.
I feel better equipped than ever to explain the phenomena that I see. I’ve observed, learnt, studied. And yet, I seem less about to comprehend it than ever.