Yesterday I went to Liege to do an IQ test with a psychologist. The idea was actually to check whether I had an attention deficit disorder, but part of it was also seeing the overlap between that and whether I am a ‘High Potential Individual’
Apparently, in France/Belgium, they speak a lot more about this idea of being ‘high potential’. Essentially, it’s having an IQ above 130. And according to the test, I fit into this bracket.
What’s been a bit weird about this is that the concept of being ‘gifted’ barely exists in anglophone literature. I’m not really sure what to make of it to be honest. One argument I’ve heard is that it’s a way to ‘soften the blow’ of calling someone neurodivergent by essentially telling them they’re smart.
At the very least, it’s pretty clear that I have a neurodivergent disposition. The way I think and speak is rather atypical. What is also quite clear is that this isn’t some level of attention deficit. I did a two hour test without needing a break, and in reality most of my life has included long, focussed work, and I’ve not really had an issue.
My lack of attention is usually due to being understimulated, or essentially bored. This is opposed to a more general difficulty with paying attention to things, which is where it comes closer to a disorder and often diagnosed as ADHD (innattentive, rather than hyperactive).
These definitions are based upon the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). The way that neurodivergence has been classified has not been without criticism. A lot of it is based upon a history of pathologising – autism and ADHD are classified as disorders / disabilities. What also doesn’t help is that the definitions of these ‘conditions’ are rather broad which can make people question how legitimate they are.
From my perspective, neurodivergence definitely exists. Some of these traits can fall into ways that can be debilitating. However, a lot of the issues around neurodivergence come from the way we treat people who are different in society. Stims and abnormal behaviour is often seen as ‘bad’, and kids are taught to stop doing them, leading to them masking these things.
My psychologist was convinced that I was not Autistic (even if this was not the purpose of the test.) My IQ averages were too high, and I didn’t demonstrate difficulties that would be typical of an autistic person.
Yet I can’t help but reflect the issues with the way the data has been built. One of the main influences for me was reading Autism Unmasked. The point of the book was to speak to people who don’t fall into the normal stereotypical behaviour of autistic people.
The book highlights how Autism diagnosed is based upon typical traits for white, middle-class boys. Women, ethnic minorities and genderqueer people are left very much underdiagnosed in this space as this shows up in different ways.
I find myself in a bit of a crossroads here. On the one hand, I can claim I am actually ‘gifted’, and because I haven’t had obvious signs thus far, I can say I’m not autistic.
On the other hand, when I start examining my behaviour more recently, I can see areas where reading about autism has been the only source of actually understanding what’s happening with me.
For example, the term interoception is the ability to process our body’s information. I had never heard this term before reading about autism. But a life experience I’ve had is not knowing when I am full or not, and this has essentially been a perennial experience. Even since I have been a lot more healthy and vigilant of what I consume, I’ve notice that my ability to intuitively eat has just never worked very well. If I eat ‘clean’ for a few days, I usually end up with a day where I feel insatiably hungry, and no matter how much I eat, I do not feel full.
A lot of what I’ve learnt on how to manage this has actually come from Instagram accounts of people with lived experience in this space. One of the issues with psychology is that it is very prohibitive to entry. Whilst this is understandable to some extent – medical fields need a strong level of training and due diligence – it does mean it is slow to change, and most neurodivergent people I know and who could bring a fresh perspective have very big barriers to entry.
But like a lot of things in modern society, there feels like a long lag between more innovative, diverse ways of thinking compared to what is actually happening in industry. Our tendency to require qualifications and training for pretty much anything, including entry level jobs can actually stifle innovation. The ability to try new things for many people in western society is probably not worth the years of retraining it requires. This is particularly the case when people without qualifications can often actually be more knowledgeable and better than the official experts. Much of what is taught in schools and classes is quickly out
For the moment, I still have a test to come. I’ll see what comes out of the results of that. Nevertheless, I can’t help but think that the amount of time, energy and cost I’ve spent navigating the whole system has been very laborious and tricky.
The long process seems rather at odds with the obvious traits I demonstrate (and share) with the people right in front of me. If I tell those people I’m Autistic, they would not blink an eye.