Photo by Ephraim Mayrena on Unsplash
Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. When did life become such a grind?
The amount of people who are constantly tired and overwhelmed is staggering. And it feels like it’s only getting worse. We seemingly cannot manage the amount of things that are pulling us left, right and centre.
The paradox here is that we have more modern day conveniences than ever. Washing machines for our clothes. Takeaway apps for our dinner. ChatGPT for our work reports.
A lot of us also work less hours than our parents or grandparents did too. So why is it then that we so many of us end up using our evenings and weekends to simply crash into our beds?
I remember my early days working in the UK Civil Service. It was a chaotic time – the UK’s withdrawal of the European Union was underway. Uncertainty and fear was the backdrop of the atmosphere.
The logical answer would be that my tiredness stemmed from the amount of work this super complex task required. But that wasn’t really true. In fact, the thing that drained me the most were the day-to-day frustrations I had. I used to go home and spend hours being annoyed with my managers, not understanding their decision making or behaviour. I would try and analyse what was happening, and how I could do better. Again, logically this sounds like a good thing to do. But in practice, I would lie in bed, often for hours, trying to find the solution for the particular predicament of that day.
It probably won’t surprise you to hear that I failed. My constant thought loops only made me more tired, frustrated and upset. I then didn’t have energy to eat – instead ordering takeaways, eaten whilst watching mind-numbing TV. By the time I needed to interact with this person again, I had no energy and ended up wanting to avoid them. This is a pattern that most of us fall in. We get so used to using our analytical brain for everything that we end up using it in futile, self-destructive ways.
What I needed to learn is to balance my brain with my body and intuitive spirit. By being so head-heavy, I failed to have a proper balance with life. I could not let my work go, and just get on with life.
So here’s the real secret about feeling tired. It’s often not about doing too much. Instead, it’s about thinking too much. It is our constant thinking that leaves us feeling exhausted. Our bodies may be restless, but our brains are fried.
It’s why doing manual tasks can be a lot easier than doing mental ones. We can turn the brain off and just get going. We can often enter a sports class feeling drained, only to feeling energised by the end of it.
The real key to stop feeling tired is to attain a level of mastery of the mind. We must learn to let go of the worries, troubles and fears that we carry around. After all, The things that bother us are rarely about the specific action, but instead what we make them mean about us. It’s not what our manager said about us that makes us feel upset, but the fact that we interpret it as disrespectful, which eats away at our self-worth.
The way to feel more energised is to work on ourselves. We need to rebalance the way that we function in life – leaving time for the soul to take the lead, rather than the brain. We also need to heal the mental scars within us.
I’m hosting a conversation around how to do this on Monday, 7pm CEST / 6pm UK time. Further information can be found here. If you’d like to attend, please do register via the Zoom link at the top.
This conversation is for you if you are in a loop of feeling tired, but do not know how to make changes to break that cycle. It will be an interactive discussion, so the more you come with something specific, the more you will get out of it.
I am also working with individuals 1-1 around these topics. In conversation, we can look at the particular things that you are finding challenging. Working on these challenges, and ultimately healing them, will be what sets you free.