Imposter Syndrome is the feeling of being a fraud. Rather than getting to your current position, you feel like you have lucked your way through. You now fear being found out for this fact.
Imposter Syndrome sadly is a fairly common trait in the modern world; probably due to the prevalence of social media leading us to compare our lives with one another, mixed in with impossibly high requirements for entry-level jobs. in my own experience through coaching, it is a topic that has come up alarmingly frequently and is seemingly more prevalent in women and ethnic minorities (probably due to a sense of being an outsider).
The issue with Imposter Syndrome is that it can be extremely debilitating for an individual’s confidence and sense of self-worth. If you do not feel like you belong, you will naturally second guess any action you do. You are probably going to suffer from anxiety from the concern that one day people will realise you don’t deserve to be there. Needless to say, this plays havoc on mental health, career progression as well as your wider sense of well-being.
Unfortunately Imposter Syndrome is also often misunderstood by those who do not suffer from it. The common advice given is to simply be more confident, be more visible in meetings or ‘fake it till you make it’. None of these actually address the underlying issue that of the individual’s self perception, instead it looks to simply cover it up. Whilst this may work in the short term, it will leave the individual still feeling anxious and if anything, even more of a fraud. In other words, this is the equivalent of an emotional band-aid over a crack in the ceiling.
So what can you do to overcome Imposter Syndrome? Here are some ideas to support you:
Don’t take job application rejection or a bad grade personally
There are so many applications we now need to do in life. The reality is that we will all receive thousands of rejection emails over our lifespan. Sometimes it might be that we’re not quite the right fit, sometimes it might be a weird online assessment that just rejects us for not inputting some answers fast enough. Whatever it is, it’s important that we don’t take these rejections to heart. Take some time to learn about recruitment process – it quickly becomes apparent it is often just a game of chance and being able to say the right things at the right time.
The moment I realised applications were really just a hoop-jumping game it took some pressure off, as if I was rejected it meant it was just that I didn’t play the game well enough through application and interview, rather than because I as a person was not good enough. So don’t let the computer saying ‘no’ bring you down, what does it know, anyway!?
Find your cheerleaders
It’s hard to be objective on our own successes, and we are often our own harshest critic. We are more than happy to praise others for their achievements, and support them up when they need it. So following that logic, we will want to surround ourselves with people who will genuinely support us and remind us of what we have achieved.
In the workplace setting, getting a mentor who can be our work ‘cheerleader’ and support us through the ups-and-downs will go a long way in giving us an extra bit of confidence when applying for jobs. Everyone appreciates a second opinion, and if we can build a relationship with someone we can honestly confide in, they can help give us a realistic assessment. This is particularly critical when looking at things like promotions, where our own inner critic is likely going to say we are not ready, or need more experience.
Remember your strengths and successes
Whilst a cheerleader will always be beneficial in our down moments, it is also up to us to tell ourselves our successes and what we are genuinely good at doing.
By knowing what our strengths and successes are, we are more likely to appreciate the journey we have embarked upon to get to where we are now. What often happens is that we realise we take a lot of our achievements for granted, e.g. completing university, getting a job, having a relationship, surviving 6 months abroad etc. However, these facts are critical to what makes us as individuals, and also frame our own story.
If this is difficult for you, take 10-15 minutes with a journal to write down every notable success that you’ve had in your life up to now. Then, dissect why you were successful to get a good idea of what your strengths might be. Now once you have your list of strengths and successes, test whether they fit with the reality you are in now. If they don’t, keep refining the list of strengths that you have until they feel right. This is an ongoing process, and we are always learning more about ourselves.
Reframe where our validation comes from – external to internal
This is the most difficult step, but ultimately the one that will dramatically shift Imposter Syndrome as it will cut off the anxiety from its source. Imposter Syndrome often comes from the worry of others finding out that we are not good enough. The implicit idea behind it is that our validation comes from others in terms of how we are seen by them, rather than from within and what we believe in ourselves.
This most likely comes from our upbringing where we are taught to excel in our grades to gain favour with our teachers and parents, teaching us to feed off external validation, rather than the satisfaction of a job well-done for ourselves. This is a separate point I made in a previous article.
So what can we do to shift our need for approval from others to an internal source of strength? I will admit that this is not an easy journey, and one that will not happen overnight. It would also likely benefit from coaching to better understand the root causes for you as an individual.
One thing you can try is working on your life narrative – your superhero story that looks at how you were born, had difficulties but overcame them to get to where you are today. Building this into a positive message can make a massive difference to our internal sense of worth.
Remember that our mind recalls what we want to recall – if you look at this in a negative mindset you will only remember the times where you did badly or a reason to explain away your achievements. If you look at it from a positive mindset, you are far more likely to recall when you excelled. Using this, you can start to re-route your confidence to stem from your own efforts and achievements, rather than from others giving you validation.
I will be honest in that I’ve not really suffered from Imposter Syndrome (sorry if you made it this far expecting otherwise!). This probably stems from my inner confidence that I have developed, as well as my natural skepticism of following other people’s rules (I am a tempered radical at heart!).
Whilst I have certainly had a very critical inner voice in the past, once I overcame this I did not find this an issue, mainly because I didn’t worry too much what others thought, as long as I believed in myself. That being said, I would re-emphasise the point I made earlier – simply copying me or anyone else who seems confident is unlikely to be successful, as what worked for me will probably not work for you.
This article was a slightly longer one, but I know lots of people have talked around the subject of Imposter Syndrome, so I wanted to make it one useful for you! Let me know if you’ve found it helpful and whether you have any comments on the subject!