Tag: #selfdevelopment

Creating my life’s impossible dream

As the year comes to a close, I’ve found myself returning to the bigger picture – my big ‘why’.
The point of dreams are to aim big, to stretch our thinking beyond what we currently think is possible. By going into the rational, we are losing our connection to what is beyond ‘realistic’.

One thing that’s really shifted my mindset on this is the idea of having a dream so big, that it would be literally impossible to achieve.

So what is my dream?

Insights for finding meaning in the modern world [new book]

Next week, I’m releasing my second book, Become Your Best Self: Insights for finding meaning in the modern world. The book is a compilation of my writing here.

If you’ve been reading my articles over the last four years, I would love for you to consider buying my book – either for yourself or as a Christmas gift.

I have been freely giving my labour for thousands of hours. I am very unlikely to make substantial money in any case, but it will at least help support me as I continue on my path of learning. This way, I can ensure I can continue providing more value in the years to come.

Getting comfortable with life’s uncontrollables

I’ve gained ten kilos in the last 2-3 months.

I find this fact totally confounding. It’s not clear what’s really changed. If anything, I’ve probably been more healthy in the last few months. I’m exercising more, and paying more attention to what I eat.

Logic would say that I ought to have lost weight rather than gain it. In fact, I think it would be a challenge for anyone to gain 10 kilos in such a short amount of time even if they tried.

So how do I wrap my head around the facts in front of me?

Burnout, or a mutiny of the soul?

‘What you might call a burnout, I would call a mutiny of the soul’.

A curious phrase. I had never thought about it that way.

It was what that John Patrick Morgan said to me this week on a phone call as he was doing his gardening.

My recent months of introspection have been far more scientific medical than spiritual. Whilst the last few years was far more about exploring the existential, 2024 has been a lot more about trying to rationalise and diagnose.

Yet, there was a reason I turned to spiritual teachings in the first place. There are limits to the scientific – the rational can only explain so much.

Curbing the need for social media dopamine hits

Yesterday, I used my phone so much that my thumb started hurting. Not that it stopped me, I simply switched hands so I could continue tapping away.

But if it’s getting to the point that holding a phone is starting to hurt, that’s probably a as obvious a warning sign as any.

Connecting with people can be very fun, and I’ve been doing it more so than ever. But I’ve been finding that this thirst only gets stronger the more I consume. So when I stop getting messages, my body gives me a feeling of anxiety. This is the definition of an addiction.

The journey of integrating our different selves into one

If you’ve been following my writing for a while, you might not be surprised to learn that I’m currently on the Eurostar. I shift across from London and Brussels regularly, in fact this is the second time I’m in the UK this month.
I’m attending another three-day intensive around personal development. Each time I attend, I find new ways in which I can deepen my understanding about myself and the world. This time, I want to go with nothing to prove, nothing to take and no one to impress. Instead, I want to really live into being fully present and receiving the learning opportunities.
The fact I’m doing this is illustrative of how much I enjoy different things. And why not? After all, there are many rich experiences to enjoy in life.
Nonetheless, what has become apparent has been the way in which this makes it hard to keep track of my priorities, with the risk of spreading myself thin.

The ultimate freedom of seeing life as a game

This week, I took it relatively easy.
Well, that’s how I felt anyway, the reality was that I actually did rather a lot. It was the first time in a long time I’ve been into the office five days in a week (my own choice!). I also had evening activities on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

So why do I feel like this week was relatively relaxed?

Well it is relative. Essentially, it felt like tasks took far less effort this week than what they did last week.

The best way to learn is by getting into action

When we are looking for change, we can often get into the trap of constantly searching out more information. A new book or course can be helpful to learn more, but in of itself doesn’t really do anything until you do something with it.
We can get so addicted to learning that we actually learn to infantilize ourselves. Whenever we find a problem we search friends or the internet for guidance, rather than genuinely learning how to do things for ourselves.

For me, this looked like constantly looking for new personal development books and courses. I would finish one non-fiction book and move straight to the next one, without stopping to reflect what I had really learnt.

So if you want to genuinely learn something new or change something in your life, there is only one real choice: action.

Plant the seeds for the life you want to live

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

Our lives are created based upon the seeds we are planting. If we want a field of sweetcorn, we better plant sweetcorn seeds. That makes sense for us logically, but this also applies to what we want in life. For example, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want a happy, positive and fulfilling life. So the best thing to do is plant happy, positive and fulfilling seeds. It is very simple, yet very effective.

Many of us want these things – happiness, success, love, money or any other number of things. Yet the seeds we plant are the opposite.