Tag: #wellbeing

Avoiding the trap of constant negativity

I’m back for a visit in London. I’m here to see my parents. Partly to do my familial duties. Partly to get a free birthday meal. Partly to get the rest of my mum’s cooking back to Brussels.

I noticed myself getting into a spiral where I felt quite sour around the idea of coming back. I’d remark of returning to the ‘sinking island’. I’m totally justified in having such an opinion. Indeed, we’re all entitled to one.

Yet what I need to be careful of is falling into the negative spiral of seeing everything so negatively. If I’m not careful, it will turn any trip I have here into one of misery and anger.

Another year of revolving around the sun

Each year, I write a reflective post around the time of my birthday.
This year, I’m not really sure what to say. It is as if my mind has become even more fogged in confusion than ever before.
One of the ironies of life is that the more we learn, the less we seem to understand.
I feel better equipped than ever to explain the phenomena that I see. I’ve observed, learnt, studied. And yet, I seem less about to comprehend it than ever.

It’s time for you to change the world

The stage is set. The audience is waiting. It’s time for you to step up. No person was simply destined for greatness. It is honed, cultivated and created. ‘But who am I to make a change?’ You have a deeper reservoir of power than you ever even realised. This I know, I see it time […]

Being in the happy, natural flow of life

Since April, I feel like I’m making progress. I’m putting in effort, and I’m seeing results.
This is in stark contrast to the last twelve months. Things have felt a struggle. There was a constant sense of ‘two steps forward, one step back’. I wasn’t in control of my body. My energy levels felt like a daily roll of the dice. I wasn’t clear with where I was going.
Right now, I feel like being in flow with life. Before, I felt like I was a boat paddling against the currents of the river. Now, I feel like I’m paddling with it.
So what changed?

Why I do not need to be the arbiter of justice

How many times have you felt wronged by someone? Feeling the anger seeth through you, you feel the need to argue what the other person did was wrong. And if they don’t understand, you think about how they should pay for their actions.

I’ve felt conflicted for a long time on how we deal with people who are doing bad things. On the one hand, I want to practice the art of forgiveness, demonstrating that I am not holding a grudge. This is particularly the case when the slight is small – forgetting to thank me for something, or being a bit rude in the morning.

But on the other hand, I wonder whether I am being complicit in their actions. Should I not make it known that what they have done is wrong?

How our fantasies create more of our suffering

During my Vipassana meditation, I heard a distinction that I hadn’t come across before. Well, at least, not in this way.
When we start doing the process of internal healing, we are often called to action by the overpowering feeling of our fears and anxieties.

This was a concept that I felt I understood pretty well. Yet what I also heard was pleasant feelings can also create suffering too.

‘But surely, feeling nice is good?’
Yet it was here that I learnt something that has dramatically and permanently improved my mental wellbeing.

What I learnt from 10 days of silent meditation

This month, I packed my bags, turned off my phone and took a train to the Flemish countryside for a 10 day Vipassana course.
The idea of the course is to learn the technique to observe the subtler realities of our existence as a means to end suffering. This is done by breathwork and body exercises.

It’s pretty hard to put into words what my experience was really like. It was intense, exhausting and brutal. But it was also reaffirming, calming, and uplifting too.

Yet I ended up learning far more about myself than I had expected.

How to prepare for the unprepareable

I will be off the grid for the next ten days. I am attending a 10 day Vipassanna meditation. That means no phones or outside contact. It’s not a retreat – the meditation takes place in silence, with entertainment, including reading or journalling not allowed.

The timetable is also strict. There is a 4am wake-up and set times for each day. So it’s certainly not a holiday experience.

A few friends have asked: how have I prepared for what will be a very intense experience?