When we are looking for change, we can often get into the trap of constantly searching out more information. A new book or course can be helpful to learn more, but in of itself doesn’t really do anything until you do something with it.
We can get so addicted to learning that we actually learn to infantilize ourselves. Whenever we find a problem we search friends or the internet for guidance, rather than genuinely learning how to do things for ourselves.
For me, this looked like constantly looking for new personal development books and courses. I would finish one non-fiction book and move straight to the next one, without stopping to reflect what I had really learnt. It was more about finishing the books that I told myself that I ‘should’ read, rather than changing myself. whilst I did learnt some things, I didn’t get nearly as much as I could if I focussed on applying my learning.
There’s a reason that we stay in this information-consummation cycle: it’s comfortable. When we don’t have to apply the insights, we can outsource our problems. And let’s be honest, actually making changes can be scary.
Last week I wanted to deliberately break this cycle. I wrote about how I wanted to create my new Make Diversity Matter To You Programme. It’s an experiential learning group bringing people from being unsure about how to deal with diversity issues to becoming active champions.
I’ll be honest, it was nerve-wracking. I created something that I thought would be valuable, but I didn’t know whether people would want it or not. This is not a fairy tale – the results were mixed. Some people were not interested, whilst others were. I got some a few no’s in a short amount of time too which felt like a blow.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel disheartened at some points. I felt like I put myself out into the world and was bearing my soul. But the reality was that I was gaining key information about what people want and what they don’t. Besides, I hadn’t thought about the commitment I was asking for, and how realistic that would be for people.
I wanted to start this programme in July, both putting me under pressure to find people in a few weeks and also expecting people to commit with little notice. In the end, I’ve decided to shift my programme back to September. It gives far more time to prepare for it, both for me and people who want to participate.
I could frame this experience as a failure, or I could frame it as key learning. The only way I could know as to how people would respond to what I create is by sharing it with the world. So rather than sitting in a sense of personal sour grapes, I choose to make this a meaningful learning experience.
If I had sat in inaction, I would have not known whether there was any interest in the programme or not. Now I have a much clearer idea, as well as a key learning about the things people need before committing to something over the space of a month.
So if you want to genuinely learn something new or change something in your life, there is only one real choice: action. Materials are extremely helpful to give the tools, and it’s definitely worth investing in them. But the investment goes down the drain unless you choose to do something with it.