When was the last time you were bored?
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It has been a pretty uncomfortable journey during quarantine. For those of us fortunate enough to own our gizmos of electronic devices, much of our social and work interaction has now moved online. I have both a work and personal phone, a work and personal laptop as well as TV, games console and tablet. These are all within 10 metres of where I spend most of my time. It is crazy to count the sheer amount of things I have around me to keep me entertained.
Remember when the lockdown first started, and our ability to just pop to the shops for basically anything was curtailed? It was difficult making this shift, as we suddenly had to change our behaviour to restrict our ability to just get or do what we want pretty much whenever. For me living in London, shops were often open until 9pm. But even then, we adjusted, and simply moved our behaviours to online shopping and entertained ourselves through online streaming services and social media.
And whilst the technology serves its purpose and is a positive way to keep us connected, there are certainly negative side effects that have slowly grown into our habits. For example, we are unable to sit still and simply be without needing to reach for our phones. If you don’t believe me – try it.
Try for the next few minutes to simply sit down and do nothing.
It is a little scary at how difficult this is to do.
We are unable to sit still without feeling anxious and fidgety. When sitting in a waiting room or standing in the queue for a till, we often just take out our phone out of pure habit, and we scroll through the latest news and our social media platforms without even thinking. I opened my web browser every time I got out my phone as pure muscle memory. So when I moved the shortcut button off my homepage I ended up constantly pressing a blank button. I did that at least five times in about six hours.
As a society, we are growing increasingly aware of the dangers of spending too much time on social media and the effect it has on our mental health. This connection is also having issues with our sleep – we often look at our phones before going to sleep and as soon as we wake up. Our brains get tired from the constant simulation, and we feel low due to the streams of negative news and our comparison of people achieving far more than us. Even when we take a ‘day off’, we usually lie in bed scrolling on our phones! We know this is the case, but find it extremely difficult to stop our behaviour patterns.
So what do I propose? Whilst spending less time on social media would certainly be a positive intention, it is far easier said than done. Whilst I do things like putting my phone on airplane mode and make sure I shut my laptop at the end of the day, if I’m not careful the overwhelming urge to check the internet will override any attempts I make. Realistically, I rely on technology for my way of life, so going cold turkey isn’t going to work in the long term.
Instead, I believe in treating the root cause of the problem. Which is, as you’ve probably guessed, overcoming our fear of being bored. We feel so uncomfortable by it that we need to find something to do. Even if we don’t want to. We are unable to sit still.
I went for some brunch this weekend, and there was a bird sitting within a nest, presumably warming its egg. I was there for an hour or so, and the bird just sat there. The bird did not fidget. It did not start making adjustments to its nest. It certainly didn’t need to check its phone. It just sat. I only watched it for the hour, but it sat there much longer. Can we be like a humble bird in a nest?
What we can try is to take some time every day to sit still and do nothing. Remove ourselves from distractions and just simply be. Indeed lots of mindfulness and meditation exercises are based upon this premise. And if you find it difficult because your mind is constantly racing, remember that it takes practice, and that you can always return to concentrate on your breathing.
It is going to be very uncomfortable at first. But little by little, it is possible. After all, even a generation ago we didn’t have this issue. And as time goes on, the next time you have a break, hopefully you won’t feel the urgent need to look at the latest news, or your Instagram feed. Instead, you might be able to simply enjoy a quick walk outside for some fresh air.