No person can fully transcend temptation.
We may like to pretend that we can. But deep down, we all know that we have our weaknesses.
For me, I was too enticed by its allure. The power of autonomy and freedom. The status symbol.
Yes, that’s right. I was seduced into buying a printer. It was sitting there on the street at the princely sum of €5 at the neighbourhood ‘sell your random stuff’ market. When I saw it, I knew it would be a gamble. But I thought it was worth it, after all, what is €5?
I may have been ready for the financial gamble, but I was not ready for the emotional rollercoaster.
I am writing this article from rock bottom. After fighting with the printer, it refuses to work. There is hope yet that putting in new ink cartridges will fix it, but I fear that this is a fool’s hope. Have you ever heard of a printer actually cooperating?
It did not start so glum. A Canon Pixma MG6450 is an impressive machine. It also can scan documents, and it looks rather sleek. It would make my office look so much more impressive too. At the peak of its powers ten or so years ago, it would have fetched well over €100. This was a real potential bargain.
Although it did not come with cables, I figured I would be able to improvise. The power cable was a basic 8 figure socket, an easy to find item in this modern age. I first tried my trusty box of random cables, but to no avail. But I basked in my ingenuity – taking the same power cable from my PS5 to test it, how crafty a person I am (a ‘handig’ type, as I recently learnt in my Dutch class).
The printer booted up – success. But this would be no simple task. The first challenge was that the settings were all in Dutch. But no problem for this international, multi-talented polyglot, I could navigate to settings and change it to English without problem. But then, the first error message came up. Ink cartridges not installed! But once again, I would not be thwarted. I but needed to open the cover and give the cartridges a wobble to appease the printer gods.
Next would be a sterner test. I did not have a printer cable, but apparently this printer being a modern creature could connect via WiFi. Although I was braced for spending the next 20 minutes slowly writing my network ID and password, I was pleasantly surprised. I could use the WPS button and connect it within seconds. This was almost too easy.
Now for the tech-savvy part. Installing printer drivers. I had gone through this routine a million times before. My youth trying to fix my dad’s printer had honed me for these days. A slight niggle in that there were no longer drivers for Windows 11, but I managed to install Windows 10 without issue. The printer appeared on my Word options. It was time for the moment of truth.
I clicked print. I even filmed the occasion. It was to be a moment akin to Edison inventing the lightbulb. No longer would I have to rush to the print copy shop before an important appointment. I could now bask in the light of printing whenever I want. The true power of technology.
But as quickly as the dream grew, as harshly it was ripped away.
Big red error sign: ‘Support Code B200. An error has occured. The printer needs repair. Follow the steps below.’
I have gone through many challenges in life. Indeed, I had four wisdom teeth extracted this week, including one that was extra painful because it had infused with my ligament. But nothing is as soul destroying as your printer giving you a big red error message.
I stayed calm. Surely there was a way to fix this. I tried restarting. I tried unplugging it for five minutes. I watched youube videos of other tips and tricks. I inspected the printer ribbon and the intenral parts for damages. I tried cleaning the ink cartridge ports. I took out the printerhead and put it back in.
But to no avail. Error code B200 would defeat every attempt I made.
My final hope was that this printer’s issue stemmed from dry ink. The women I had bought it did say it worked. She bought it when working from home but now had been summoned back to the office.
And so, I decided to order some new ink cartridges off the internet. But in so doing, the €5 gamble turned into €20. And if that doesn’t work, it’s possible to buy a new printerhead. If I can find the right one, they cost maybe €30-40. And if that doesn’t work. I can send the printer to Canon to get repaired. Apparently they charge €100 or so just to have a look at it, without guarantee that it can be fixed.
I fear this printer will be my descent into financial bankruptcy and madness. Some people go bankrupt getting addicted to class-A drugs. People like me fall into financial ruin trying to get a working printer.
If I do nothing, it sits next to me in my office, reminding me of its failure. I would see it there every day, knowing that turning it on will just give me an angry message. I can’t even use the scanner it has either, which adds insult to injury.
Of course, I could just get rid of it. But then, how do you dispose of a printer? I think there is a collection of larger objects every six months in my neighbourhood. So perhaps then, I could take it down to be dumped. I’ll have to carry it by hand through the streets because I don’t own a car. Another sign of my failure.
And what of the ink cartridges? How do I even dispose of them correctly? Does my supermarket collect them? If not, I can request a recycling bag from Canon. But can I really bear to withstand the humiliation of posting ink cartridges I never even used?
And so I sit here on a Sunday morning, deflated. I know there are bigger things happening in the world. Yet it’s the smaller things that really can break you. The dream of owning a printer being snatched away from me, in the blink of an eye.
It’s the hope, as they say, that kills you.