This is the first weekend I’ve spent at home in Brussels in over a month. The last four weekends I’ve been away, on a mix of travels through India and successive trips to the UK.
And you know what? I’m tired. Not because of any overt travel fatigue, but because I’ve felt like life has been a consistent set of new hurdles. The irony is that the only person who fundamentally has been placing these hurdles is myself.
In January, I visited my hometown for the first time in five years. In February, I went on a 10 day solo voyage through India. In March, I attended a 3 day intensive in London, which took place last weekend. I’ve also had a whole bunch of other things come up in the last few months, some of which I’ve written about, others that I haven’t. Even without going into the details, I’ve experienced a lot in an incredibly short amount of time.
When I was in India, I crossed path with a fellow coach who was also on their route to the Ultimate Event in Mumbai. She was particularly adept at numerology, and based upon my birth date found that 2022 was Saturns Return – a year of ends. She also mentioned that this first year in the new cycle (i.e. 2023) will feel like I’m swimming upstream, and it will take more effort than it would normally feel like to get what I wanted.
Now I don’t expect everyone to believe in the world of numerology or astronomy. Yet there was something poignant about hearing something that felt like it connected somehow. I actually felt something quite relieving in hearing these words; it allayed some concerns that I wasn’t trying hard enough.
Along the way of my travels in India, I also ended up going to an astrologer. Although I don’t see myself as someone that bases their life on horoscopes, I also find myself being far more open to life beyond the western, rationalist way of looking at the world. This is especially the case since I’ve seen the benefits of looking towards a more spiritual approach in my life. Apparently he was a gold-medalist one too, so why not?
This astrologist talked about how I had a very high level of intelligence, and would write books. He also spoke about me living in European countries, and not live in the country of my birth. So quite a few things that certainly chimed – considering I’ve written a book, and currently live in Belgium when I was born in the UK. When he looked at my palm, he told me quite point-blank that I was not earning as much as I deserved. He also saw some work for me to do on my health.
There’s a whole bunch of information there, and I can choose how I want to interpret it. But there is a message here that I’ve also heard of in other settings. Another phrase that has a similar meaning is the idea of ‘slowing down’ and ‘surrender’ – both of which have come up in my yoga sessions and through the books I read. It’s also something I’ve been speaking to my coach about fairly frequently as well.
I wrote an article a few weeks ago about the feeling I had of overdoing my own personal development. I felt a little overwhelmed with the amount I was committing. Having now got through a lot of courses and personal adventures, I’m feeling quite worn out. I’m really glad I did these things, but I’m also conscious at how hard I have been pushing myself. Do I really need to live life as if I don’t have time to breath?
Thursday was the first day I had a free evening without plans, and that was only because of a cancellation. I genuinely found it difficult to even know what to do with a free evening because I’ve gotten so used to not having one.
As I settle down into a period of relative geographical stability, I realise that I don’t have to live in such an intense way. I can make strides towards the things that I want to do. But I can do that whilst also having time for myself. No doubt when I actually slow down and start enjoying life more, things will also feel a lot easier. I know that this will actually help me reach my goals faster too. Rather than swimming upstream, I can let the current guide me to where I am meant to go.
This is my own personal experience, but I also know that it is the case for many people. I don’t doubt that you have had similar experiences as well.
So this is an invitation for you to not try so hard. We have more time than we think we do, and life wasn’t created just for us to squeeze more productivity into our 24 hours in a day.
When we can feel light and free, we are far more likely to make the impact we want. We will also enjoy life far more along the way.