I’ve been having a lot of insights about my life this week. Travel can really help – it gives us a chance to get out of our daily rhythm and notice our own habitual patterns. Last weekend I went to Paris.
My experience was different to what I expected. I thought I would plan out my time there and jump around the different ‘cool’ spots to see. I did go and see the Eiffel Tower, but in the end the majority of my time was actually just spent walking around the city.
My walk around town was not my usual ‘planning’ self, instead it was me following my own intuition.
Category: Personal Development
The mind is self- cleansing. You don’t have to do anything to fix it.
I’ve been having issues sleeping in the last few weeks. I fall asleep quite easily, but I have a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I manage to fall back asleep for a mediocre night’s sleep, but some nights (including two nights ago) I woke up in full alertness and was awake from 3am.
I don’t think this will be ‘fixed’ overnight. But I also recognise that I don’t need to be defined by my tiredness or lethargy, nor let it overly negatively affect my life.
Our minds go through pain, but we don’t actually have to do anything to heal it. If we trust the process of letting our minds be, it will return to its natural state of health and wellbeing without us interfering with the process.
The limits to intellectualizing our life decisions
When we make decisions, many of us try to look at things very logically. We research information or ask friends for guidance. Maybe we’ll write a pros and cons list.
But can we really make a pros and cons list to as big a life decision as getting married? How about having kids? How about moving country? How about doing what you love?
One of the biggest downwards spirals I had with my life was trying to logically decide what I wanted to do. I would turn my brain to overdrive to figure out what the answer to my career and life were. I saw life as a puzzle – if I simply stared at it longer and spent more time trying to figure it all out, I would know what I was meant to do.
I learnt that the mind is not always the best tool to understand or decide bigger things in life.
Life is an ever-shifting enigma. Embrace it.
What is change?
There’s been quite a few notable events in the UK over the last week – The Queen’s passing, Liz Truss as the new Prime Minister, and most dramatically of all, Thomas Tuchel being sacked as Chelsea Manager.
The more I’ve focussed on the idea that everything is changing the more jaded I feel. The human mind looks for patterns to explain why I feel the way I’m feeling – if I feel a sense of insecurity, I look for a reason.
Clarity of thought will drive your life to its highest level
How much time do we spend questioning ourselves around what we should be doing?
Should I go to the gym today? Should I find a new career? Could I be more fulfilled right now?
At some point, we all go through a period of questioning ourselves. Sometimes life throws us curve balls which make us reassess what we want without clarity of thought, it was hard for me to focus on any single thing.
I thought about whether I might want to move to a different job, sector or country. The possibilities could sometimes feel overwhelming because I didn’t really know what I wanted to do.
Starting Fresh – how to handle starting a new job
It’s officially September. Summer is over. For some of us, that also means a fresh start in a new job.
A new job can be a daunting process. We are entering into a new role with a new team, new area of work, as well as potentially a new organisation and location. A year ago I experienced these changes when I left the UK to come to Belgium for a new role in a different sector.
Understandably, getting off on the right foot brings a lot of anxiety to people. Often, people want to make sure they make a good impression and are keen to demonstrate their competence as early as possible.
But do new jobs really need to be that stressful?
Balancing between mastery and being a jack-of-all-trades
I was in a conversation this week with someone who talked about having many different interests. It prompted me to think about my own experience and the guidance I got – on the one hand, people talk about it being good to have lots of different skills. On the other hand, am I meant to be ‘settling down’ on one thing and becoming the best at that?
Like most things in life, the answer depends. It depends on you, and what you want to do.
How to be more social on Social Media
I’ve been more active on social media in the last year than I have been since my time at University. In between these years I slowly regressed into a social media hermit that would rarely interact with others and only respond when someone reached out to me. It had similarities on how my own social life dwindled at the time.
If we see social media as a tool, it makes it easier to understand that we can use it in a way that makes us take advantages of it rather than suffer the negatives. However, this requires a level of intention in how we use it, rather than falling into a negative pattern that I believe many of us do.
So how did I make using social media a lot more fun?
What game are you playing in life?
I’m in Italy this week. We’ve spent the last few days going into different towns in Puglia. It’s been refreshing getting out of my own comfort zone and awakening to a different culture I hadn’t properly seen before.
Yesterday, we played a few rounds of a card game called Scopa.
Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t particularly good at this game when I first played. Some of the faces of the cards can be confusing as to what number they correspond to, and I didn’t really get the rhythm of the game either. I often took a few cards off the table, leaving only one or two left, allowing the next player to clear the table and get a point through ‘scopa’.
I found playing a new game a really interesting analogy of trying new things in life.
What does working with a coach look like in practice?
You may have come across the idea of a ‘coach’. You’ve certainly seen sports coaches too. But what does it actually look like to work with a coach on personal development?
Different coaches have different styles. It’s why it’s important to find someone that you feel will genuinely help you. Like any profession, unfortunately there are coaches which give it a bad name. It doesn’t take long to find get-rich-quick schemes or people who get their sales by pressuring people into paying for something that isn’t right for them.
I take the time to speak with people several times before even looking at the idea of a client relationship. Coaching is a personal, transformative experience, and you would only want to do that with someone you can genuinely trust and you think can genuinely help you. If I believe I’m not that person for you, I’d much prefer you find someone else who will fit what you’re looking for.