What game are you playing in life?

I’m in Italy this week. We’ve spent the last few days going into different towns in Puglia. It’s been refreshing getting out of my own comfort zone and awakening to a different culture I hadn’t properly seen before.

Yesterday, we played a few rounds of a card game called Scopa. Each player gets three cards, and the aim is to collect cards by either matching a card with the same value, or collecting several which add up to the card value you have. For example, if you have an eight, if there is an eight on the table you can capture the card. If there is no eight, but there is a five and three, you can capture both these cards instead. These go into your collection and the totals are counted at the end of each round.

The scoring system is based upon several different criteria. You score a point based on each of the individual criteria: who has captured the most cards; who has the most sevens; who has the ‘sette bello’ – the seven gold coin card; and who has the most sevens. During a game, if you also capture all the cards remaining on the deck this is ‘scopa’ which means you also score a point.

Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t particularly good at this game when I first played. Some of the faces of the cards can be confusing as to what number they correspond to, and I didn’t really get the rhythm of the game either. I often took a few cards off the table, leaving only one or two left, allowing the next player to clear the table and get a point through ‘scopa’.

I did wonder whether this was a game of luck. After all, it’s based upon a shuffled deck, and each player gets three random cards. The cards at the centre are also random. Yet I learnt that there are some people who get very good at this game. A bit like poker, the trick is to memorise what cards have been played, that way you can understand the odds of different combinations work.

I found playing a new game a really interesting analogy of trying new things in life. Firstly, I wasn’t particularly good at it (aside from a round of beginner’s luck). Secondly, the rules sounded completely alien when explained, and it was only by playing that I got the hang of it. Thirdly, it was fun to play, which is what made us continue. The picture above is us playing it at the beach.

The funny thing is that life works in a remarkably similar way. We get to choose what we game play in life, and how we want to play it. Like any game, it has some general rules. We are all players, and although some of us may start luckier than others, and we are broadly confined under the same metaphysical boundaries. But the way we want to play the game is up to us. We can be reckless or cautious. We can be bold, or timid. We can be inquisitive or uninterested. It’s really up to us, even if it does not always feel like it.

Like scopa, it can take a while to get the hang of this game of life. It can take a while to figure out what even the point of it is, but the more I play it as a game, the better I get at understanding how it all works. Whilst I could also read a thousand text books on the art of living life, ultimately I just have to live it to understand how things work. By playing it as a game, rather than a very serious, pressurised obligation, it also can be fun. For me, that’s what keeps life enjoyable.

But there are more games we can play. In fact, we can create a game for pretty much anything. There may be the game of chess, but there is also a game of becoming a chess grandmaster. For that, we go and understand out the broader rules to become a ‘grandmaster’, and what this means in practice. For example, what someone has to do to become a grandmaster. We then figure out how we make this happen, which is a mixture of playing a lot of chess games mixed in with a lot of practice. By making it a game rather than somethign we merely pursue, we can make it fun. This then shifts the labour of practice from being boring to one that’s actually rather enjoyable.

Maybe you don’t want to be a chess grandmaster. Maybe you want to be the best singer, manager, salesperson, spouse or any other thing. So instead, you can play the game of becoming that thing you want to do. You’re probably already doing it – I play the game of coaching, and if you have a job you’re playing that game too.

Looking at our jobs as games can make them a far more enjoyable experience. Games in of their nature are structured and can be repeated. Practicing to become something beyond ‘average’ (like me as a Scopa player) is also rather repetitive and requires a level of dedication and commitment. But if we can make a game out it, suddenly it becomes a lot more fun. Athletes and professionals in sport often rise to the top through a love of the sport they play, and so they generally enjoy going to training every day. It’s no wonder that they rise above their peers, because to them it’s just fun. And if you find something fun, you’re

much more likely to get up at 6am to do it.

Games can be incredibly powerful. It’s just a choice for you to decide which one you want to play. So if you don’t feel like you’re currently consciously playing one within your life, you may consider doing so. It will make things far lighter and more enjoyable, whilst also keeping you on track to meet the goals you’re aiming for.

What game are you playing?

If you got anything from this article, I’d love to hear from you. Drop a message below or feel free to send a message to me direct on LinkedIn or via email.

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