Photo by Daniela Muntyan on Unsplash
One thing I’ve noticed is that my mind feels calmer.
Despite shifting storms, political and personal uncertainty, I feel more balanced. This doesn’t mean life has gotten any easier. But it seems to feel a little bit easier anyway.
If anything, it’s actually been a more testing period. I’ve had to turn down opportunities which would have been unhealthy and toxic for me. I’ve been struggling with sickness and stomach problems as well. Meanwhile, the news cycle has been hitting harder, and I’m genuinely fearing authoritarianism like never before.
The most prime example of tests was a job offer I had. I ended up deciding to pull out of it two days before the start of the contract. As the date approached, more and more things felt off.
I’m glad I followed my gut. I sent an email beforehand querying a lot of issues that were bothering me. Stuff like expecting me to work a full day of work before the contract started, as well as doing a full e-learning training as ‘pre-reading’ (i.e. unpaid work).
Sadly, the response to my email was very disheartening. It became apparent that the organisation did not believe that it needed to follow Belgian labour law. It described the ‘difference in expectation’ as me seeing this as a belgian standard contract (which it was), whereas they say this as a ‘stipend’ for a career.
Of course, such an approach is totally illegal. But certain organisations see themselves above the law. It probably would not surprise you if you live in Brussels that this was one of the ‘go-good’ NGO type organisations. Labour violations are absolutely rife in these places.
What has been heartening though is how much the people in my life have supported my decision. In the past, I would have had more people questioning me. This time, the people around me were quite unanimous that I had made the right call.
I’m in the midst of my deep-dive of Vedic astrology. Apparently one of the big challenges of the last few years has been about a balance of my relationship with work. It even said that 2024 was a year where there was a real risk of burnout, which was actually the case (it definitely would have been nice to know this in advance!).
So in this context, I think the latest job contract debacle was a test. It was to see whether I had really learnt my lesson, or whether I would ignore my intuition. I think I did the right thing, and I hope the universe will recognise that too.
Another example was during a facilitated conversation I had yesterday. We were speaking about the topic of intuition, and I uttered the line that constantly analysing everything in life is ‘no way to live’.
A participant took particular issue with me saying that. She said she was offended, and that I was being judgemental against her. It was a little odd, as it was obviously not directed against her personally.
In the past, I would have felt a lot of stress and awkwardness. Now, I just let things be. I explained that this was based upon my own experience, as in the past this was how I lived, and I was totally miserable. So yes, I didn’t think it was a way to live.
After a while, she announced that she was uncomfortable because I did not apologise. She got up, and left.
Perhaps it’s wishful thinking, but an increase of life tests suggests a greater amount of response. In that way, it shows that things are shifting. Whereas before I felt like nothing was happening, now I am getting more energetic feedback.
In a weird way, I think it’s a show that things are happening for me, even if in the short term it’s unpleasant. Naturally, not all tests are pleasant, nor are they positive either.
But sometimes, I think it’s also the universes way of telling us to keep going.