Yesterday was Pride in Brussels. This is the third time I’ve been to Pride here, and I love how Brussels converts itself to a colourful, party atmosphere.
I bumped into at least a dozen people I knew from different areas of my life, most of which weren’t LGBT+ identifying. I really get the sense of Pride in Brussels being a community gathering. I also got to know so many new people yesterday, and it’s rare to have such an open atmosphere where making friends is so easy.
Prides are organised to celebrate the diversity of the LGBT+ community. It also serves to highlight the issues, such as higher rates of discrimination and violence. So whilst the party brings the day alive, Pride is a tool for advocacy.
I attended a workshop earlier in the day about the experiences of queer people in public spaces. many people do not feel comfortable using basic facilities. Places that we take for granted – parks, metros, libraries, public toilets – can be a dangerous place for queer people because they are discriminated for the way they dress or look. In a day of partying, I was glad to spend some time taking a look at the more serious issues too.
What I also love about pride is that it gives the space for greater self-expression, particularly around how we look and dress. It’s fun to get playful with basic things like glitter and makeup, which is outside of normal societal convention. For men, it’s actually a fun opportunity to explore these things which are traditionally only for women.
I wore nail glittery nail polish yesterday. I found it actually very fun to have some shine. Whilst this may seem out of the ‘norm’, men have been using makeup thousands of years. Walking through a residential district earlier in the day, it also made me appreciate how self-conscious I felt in doing something outside of the ‘norm’ and how this can be a barrier for many people.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of considering how I look. As someone who used to wear suits to the office each day, I’ve been somewhat programmed into rather unexciting outfits. Beyond basic considerations of hygiene, the way I dress demonstrates how I want to show up in the world.
This has had multiple positive effects. I now take far better care of myself with improved skin care. I enjoy getting ready for the day because there is more intentionality in how I show up. Starting the day this way brings far more positivity then throwing on the same old clothes. I’m also having a new space for a creative outlet which is adding a lot more joy to my life.
There is a lot that men can learn from women in this respect. It is far more common for women to spend more time considering the way they look. The women I know are also far stronger at using colour and wardrobes shift as seasons change. As a man, I’ve generally kept the same t-shirt/jumper/trousers comibations for years. Whilst there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it probably has made my life rather stale at times.
The beauty of Pride for me this year is that I would not have considered these things so deeply if I wasn’t exposed to new ways of thinking. Seeing others dress in all sorts of ways demonstrates what is possible. Having spoken to people from the LGBT+ community too, it’s one of the few days where they get to dress how they really want to, but usually would not do so as they would not feel comfortable to do so. So whilst wearing party outfits may just seem like a bit of fun on the surface, it actually has a real link to our sense of self, our expression and more holistically our wellbeing.
Whether you attend Prides or not, there is a message here for you. Bringing more intentionality and expression in the way you look will bring a greater element of fun and creativity in your life. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want more of those things.