I woke up a few days ago. But when I got out of bed, I had a shot of pain. Putting weight on my right foot hurt a lot. I could barely step without wincing.
What caused this grand injury? I’m not actually really sure.
The night before, I did a dance class and walked around without problem. Before going to bed, I had zero pains.
I’m feeling quite bitter about this. I feel like I’ve done nothing to really provoke such an injury.
How often are you feeling anxious during the day?
For me, that number has turned out to be a lot higher than I realised.
I came back to Brussels on Monday after a visit to my parents in London. When I’m with my parents, a lot of my daily responsibilities are put on hold. I’m privileged to have a space where I don’t have to cook or clean.
But I had a slight anxiety attack the moment I came back into Brussels. On the floor, I saw a letter in my name, without any obvious sender. Cue a sense of panic.
I’m back for a visit in London. I’m here to see my parents. Partly to do my familial duties. Partly to get a free birthday meal. Partly to get the rest of my mum’s cooking back to Brussels.
I noticed myself getting into a spiral where I felt quite sour around the idea of coming back. I’d remark of returning to the ‘sinking island’. I’m totally justified in having such an opinion. Indeed, we’re all entitled to one.
Yet what I need to be careful of is falling into the negative spiral of seeing everything so negatively. If I’m not careful, it will turn any trip I have here into one of misery and anger.
Each year, I write a reflective post around the time of my birthday.
This year, I’m not really sure what to say. It is as if my mind has become even more fogged in confusion than ever before.
One of the ironies of life is that the more we learn, the less we seem to understand.
I feel better equipped than ever to explain the phenomena that I see. I’ve observed, learnt, studied. And yet, I seem less about to comprehend it than ever.
I’ve noticed recently that my life has been lacking pleasure. I don’t really seem to be having much fun. That’s not to say that I don’t have access to fun things. It’s more that I don’t end up feeling like I am enjoying myself. And over time, I’ve lost the desire to even try. Since […]
I’ve been feeling low rather regularly in the last week. It’s really been at odds with what’s happening in my life. Broadly speaking, I’m actually on the up.
Yet as I regain my connection with the world, I also regain my connection with its pains. And right now, the world is in a lot of pain.
Seeing what is happening right now in Gaza is devastating. My soul has been longing for some space for sadness. After a period of time, perhaps I’m finally giving it.
For the last few weeks, I’ve been waking up feeling pretty ‘ugh’.
The film Inside Out 2 introduced a new character to personify this. The character was called ‘ennui’, with a stereotypical French manner of ‘bof’.
Ennui is essentially a feeling of disinterest and melancholy. It’s a good description of how I’ve been often feeling in the mornings and late in the evenings. (Although I preferred the first film better)
If I spend too much time thinking about it, I can end up getting super frustrated. After all, how can we have so many emotional shifts within the space of a single day?
A few days ago I went to the Osteopath for a pain in my left shoulder.
The pain is nothing new. I’ve had this pain whenever I do a few sessions of yoga. It’s come back ever since I’ve restarted classes a few weeks ago.
Perhaps now was probably the time to actually fix it, rather than just constantly managing the situation.
Competitive culture is getting us obsessed with grinding. The answer to any setback in life just seems to be to try harder. But grinding is not healthy. And often, it’s actually very counterproductive.
It is true that many valuable things require hard work. Healthy relationships, successful careers and good fitness take work. But hard work is different to grinding.
This is something I’ve had to learn the hard way.
For a long time in my life, I found protests pointless. I didn’t really get the point of going out on the street to complain about things. It didn’t really seem to do a whole lot.
But my view has shifted over the last few years. I’ve experienced more political events that have struck me personally.
Sometimes protests are simply needed to release a built up level of frustration. Other times, it is important to demonstrate that we are not quietly accepting something that is being imposed upon us.
I’ve built a growing admiration for those who lead protests. It’s not a simple thing to galvanise people into action. Whilst I may not be a personal fan of the oft harsher messaging, I’ve also come to appreciate that my preference for technocratic change is ineffective if it is not paired with radical action to shift societal opinion.
Despite this, I find many protests are not particularly effective. In fact, sometimes they may actually do more harm than good.