Tag: #change

Birthing the creation of a book – Make Diversity Matter To You

The events of the killing of George Floyd shocked the world, and triggered a renewed and profound focus around the Black Lives Matter movement. Although the events took place in the USA, it was clear that this was the tip of the iceberg on a long-awaited discussion about race issues across the world.

I was locked up during the pandemic when the events took place. But like many people, I was keen to do something. Also, like many people, I wasn’t really sure what I could really do to make a change.

Then, in November 2020 I had an idea to write a book.

The book itself is a manifestation of my commitment to love and serve others. I wrote it with the genuine will to help people understand the topic of diversity and inclusion for themselves. I truly believe that the book will be a powerful tool to help anyone who picks it up to understand themselves better and be an actor for change.

You can check out the site page on Amazon where I’ll be self-publishing. The Kindle edition is currently available to pre-order, but there will be a paperback version on the site shortly.

There is no past. There is no future. There is only now.

I generally like to keep on top of my work, but recently I’ve found myself procrastinating. Sometimes I know a deadline isn’t coming for a while, so I can put it off. I believed that the time to do it was sometime in the future.

But it’s not just the future – it’s also the past. I found myself lingering around past thoughts. A conversation someone had with me. I relive the frustration or anger, as if it were happening today. Suddenly these emotions are seeping into the feelings I’m having right now.

Most of us tend to see-saw between these alternate realities. Either we are stuck in the past, or wondering about the future. But what if neither of them actually exist?

The limits to intellectualizing our life decisions

When we make decisions, many of us try to look at things very logically. We research information or ask friends for guidance. Maybe we’ll write a pros and cons list.
But can we really make a pros and cons list to as big a life decision as getting married? How about having kids? How about moving country? How about doing what you love?
One of the biggest downwards spirals I had with my life was trying to logically decide what I wanted to do. I would turn my brain to overdrive to figure out what the answer to my career and life were. I saw life as a puzzle – if I simply stared at it longer and spent more time trying to figure it all out, I would know what I was meant to do.

I learnt that the mind is not always the best tool to understand or decide bigger things in life.

Life is an ever-shifting enigma. Embrace it.

What is change?

There’s been quite a few notable events in the UK over the last week – The Queen’s passing, Liz Truss as the new Prime Minister, and most dramatically of all, Thomas Tuchel being sacked as Chelsea Manager.

The more I’ve focussed on the idea that everything is changing the more jaded I feel. The human mind looks for patterns to explain why I feel the way I’m feeling – if I feel a sense of insecurity, I look for a reason.

Starting Fresh – how to handle starting a new job

It’s officially September. Summer is over. For some of us, that also means a fresh start in a new job.
A new job can be a daunting process. We are entering into a new role with a new team, new area of work, as well as potentially a new organisation and location. A year ago I experienced these changes when I left the UK to come to Belgium for a new role in a different sector.
Understandably, getting off on the right foot brings a lot of anxiety to people. Often, people want to make sure they make a good impression and are keen to demonstrate their competence as early as possible.
But do new jobs really need to be that stressful?

What game are you playing in life?

I’m in Italy this week. We’ve spent the last few days going into different towns in Puglia. It’s been refreshing getting out of my own comfort zone and awakening to a different culture I hadn’t properly seen before.
Yesterday, we played a few rounds of a card game called Scopa.
Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t particularly good at this game when I first played. Some of the faces of the cards can be confusing as to what number they correspond to, and I didn’t really get the rhythm of the game either. I often took a few cards off the table, leaving only one or two left, allowing the next player to clear the table and get a point through ‘scopa’.

I found playing a new game a really interesting analogy of trying new things in life.

What does working with a coach look like in practice?

You may have come across the idea of a ‘coach’. You’ve certainly seen sports coaches too. But what does it actually look like to work with a coach on personal development?
Different coaches have different styles. It’s why it’s important to find someone that you feel will genuinely help you. Like any profession, unfortunately there are coaches which give it a bad name. It doesn’t take long to find get-rich-quick schemes or people who get their sales by pressuring people into paying for something that isn’t right for them.
I take the time to speak with people several times before even looking at the idea of a client relationship. Coaching is a personal, transformative experience, and you would only want to do that with someone you can genuinely trust and you think can genuinely help you. If I believe I’m not that person for you, I’d much prefer you find someone else who will fit what you’re looking for.

Why people use personal coaches for development

Who uses a ‘coach’, and what are they exactly?

The word ‘coach’ comes from the idea of an old coach carriage, which could take you from one place to another. A coach does the same thing, only rather on a development journey rather than a physical one.

Coaching can be far more than a simple motivational tool. It can help genuinely develop people in a way that courses and books cannot as it takes a far more individual approach to personal development.

When I received coaching, I never realised how much certain implicit beliefs I had built up were holding me back. For example, I had this subconscious view that to be successful in my career I had to be unhappy.

If you want change, you need to want something new

When we want to change something, it can often be hard to figure out what we want to change. The easy part is to say that whatever we have right now is not working for us, and that we need to shift this into another thing. But the harder part is deciding what this new thing we want to do should be.
The focus can quickly become on how bad everything is right now, and therefore the change is needed to fix things. Change in of itself becomes the solution, whatever that change might be.
Whilst this is perhaps a good starting point, most of the time it is not enough to want change for change sake.