Tag: #personaldevelopment

Self-expression sets us free

Yesterday was Pride in Brussels. This is the third time I’ve been to Pride here, and I love how Brussels converts itself to a colourful, party atmosphere.

What I also love about pride is that it gives the space for greater self-expression, particularly around how we look and dress. It’s fun to get playful with basic things like glitter and makeup, which is outside of normal societal convention. For men, it’s actually a fun opportunity to explore these things which are traditionally only for women.

I wore nail glittery nail polish yesterday. I found it actually very fun to have some shine. Whilst this may seem out of the ‘norm’, men have been using makeup thousands of years.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of considering how I look.

Change your life difficulty settings to get the results you want

Recently I’ve been getting caught up with the different goals in my life. I’ve fallen into the trap of longing for the future where I’ve ‘got to’ the place.

Examining our life’s rhythm lets us critically examine how hard or easy we are making life for ourselves. Too hard and we will spin in a cycle of exhaustion. Too easy and we will not lose our comfort zone, and watch our dreams go unfulfilled.

I often play on my Playstation during my downtime, and in video games you get to choose the difficulty you want to play at.

The state of your room indicates the state of your life

For the last few weeks, I’ve been putting off tidying my room. For example, when I came back from my recent trip from the UK, it took me a week before I unpacked and moved my mini suitcase. It lay in the middle of the room like an obstacle course.

My state of mind betrays the way that I’ve been living my life. When I am too busy to take care of basic things around the house, I am in a constant mode of doing. I’ve felt quite tired and lethargic after spending each day running on my self-created task treadmill, so I’ve generally not ‘felt like’ cleaning up.

What has changed my perspective on prioritising myself is realizing that without me being at my best, I am far less potent in all the things I do.

Plant the seeds for the life you want to live

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

Our lives are created based upon the seeds we are planting. If we want a field of sweetcorn, we better plant sweetcorn seeds. That makes sense for us logically, but this also applies to what we want in life. For example, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want a happy, positive and fulfilling life. So the best thing to do is plant happy, positive and fulfilling seeds. It is very simple, yet very effective.

Many of us want these things – happiness, success, love, money or any other number of things. Yet the seeds we plant are the opposite.

Our language creates how we experience the world

This week, I’ve been in several conversations about the massive power language has in the way we live our life.
The language we use is the way we create our reality. For example, if we say that the meeting we’re going to have this afternoon is going to be ‘tedious’ or ‘boring’, we are already creating this to be how we are going to experience it. I’ve been far more mindful in the way I have been prejudging situations. Holding off on these labels has meant I show up in situations far more open. This in of itself is a massive lesson.
But the power of language goes even deeper. The way we describe events can cause emotional reactions which frame our wider worldview

The power of asking for what you really want

Recently, I’ve been taking a more direct approach to asking for what I want. LinkedIn is a great example of where this works, but really it exists in any facet of life.

A coach recently suggested that I reach out to somebody else to have a conversation. They were doing similar things – they had written a book and had done a lot of public speaking. They were a few steps ahead of where I am at. It was obvious that I could really benefit from this person’s knowledge, but they were also someone I had never met. They also sounded quite impressive, so I had no idea if they would respond.

I’ve been looking to be more proactive in doing what I say, so I just went ahead and sent a connection request, followed by a message. They responded within an hour. I then asked if we could have a conversation because I would love their advice. By the end of the day, we had booked something in the week later. The conversation itself was really helpful, but the biggest lesson was realising that connecting with someone was far easier to organise than I thought it would be.

Finding clarity in your life will change your world

This week, a friend remarked at the shifts she had seen me make since I had last spoken to her a few months ago. She had really noticed the energy I was giving through the deeper sense of direction and the clarity I had. I’ve had a few conversations with people where they’ve remarked something quite similar. It seems like I have a better idea of who I am.
When people have been telling me this, it’s honestly not a big surprise. I can feel a different energy coming from me. The last few months have been filled with exploration tinged with a sense of uncertainty. This has now shifted to a clearer focus. I know what I want to do, and I know the great gifts I have to make this happen.

If I could bottle the magic formula which has shifted in me to move from feeling unclear to having clarity, I would already have made my money, plus a whole lot more. Unfortunately, the process is a little more complex. That said, there are things that can help us shift towards getting clear in our lives.

Overcoming the ‘dread’ of awaiting something important

I had forgotten the feeling of impending doom we often feel when sitting in the waiting room. The idea of being around lots of sick people can make us worry about what untold mysteries may ail us. It’s no wonder then that many of us associate health check-ups with negative emotions.

Unfortunately, many of the health issues we experience are often exacerbated by us ignoring the problem. At a logical level, I think most of us know that. And yet, we can avoid getting our health checked because it scares us.

One thing that’s helped me massively has been shifting the relationship I have with my mind. There are many areas that the brain can be fantastic – delving into deep problems and finding a solution in an incredibly diverse set of scenarios. But what the brain is not so good at dealing with is uncertainty. Using the brain for these activities will leave us reactive, and often fall into paranoia, anxiety and doubt.

We can enjoy each day – even when we are sick

I’ve been laid low by illness. What I thought was a cough was actually a throat infection. And whilst it’s nothing serious, it still took me out of action for the whole of this week.

This week’s article was prompted by a short conversation I had with someone. They told me that taking time to be sick made them feel bad because they felt unproductive. It made them feel like they are doing nothing.

This is a feeling that many of us have experienced in our lives. We don’t want to let the team down, and feel anxious at the idea of not doing something. When society instills in us the idea that we have to constantly be active, the idea of stopping feels like a bad thing.

But I’ve come to enjoy my sick days much more than I used to. Rather than sit still pondering the universe until I go crazy, I take this as a moment for me to slow my movements and withdraw into myself.

An invitation to try less hard in your life

This is the first weekend I’ve spent at home in Brussels in over a month.

The last four weekends I’ve been away, on a mix of travels through India and successive trips to the UK.

And you know what? I’m tired. Not because of any overt travel fatigue, but because I’ve felt like life has been a consistent set of new hurdles.
The irony is that the only person who fundamentally has been placing these hurdles is myself.

Having now got through a lot of courses and personal adventures, I’m feeling quite worn out. I’m really glad I did these things, but I’m also conscious at how hard I have been pushing myself. Do I really need to live life as if I don’t have time to breath?