Who are you choosing to be in your life?

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

I am exhausted, and have a stomach ache. I don’t feel like cooking and want to order a takeaway. What would not bothering to cook even though I committed to it earlier in the day say about me?

I am stressed, as I have a train to catch. I might easily fall into ignoring basic manners in the crowded bus around me. What would ignoring the needs of the other people around say about me?

I am in a busy restaurant, and the staff are stressed. I’m waiting to catch their attention to get a drink. I could be annoyed at them, or sympathetic that they are under a lot of pressure. What does my reaction say about me?

I’ve gone through a lot of introspection over the last week. I attended The Ultimate Experience in London. I met fascinating people, as well as gained insights from speakers.

The pre-reading was a book entitled The Ultimate Coach, which goes through the life of Steve Hardison as well as an assortment of different vignettes from his clients, as well as the story of his youth, marriage and transition into coaching. Steve Hardison amongst many other speakers (including his wife) spoke at the event; a recording will soon be found on the Instagram here

The idea of ‘being’ is the idea of what we are committing ourselves to be everyday. We declare to ourselves who we want to be, which sounds simple enough but requires a level of dedication to ensure it becomes a reality.

Before we can simply decide how we find our lives, we must first understand that the way we experience life is based upon how we decide to experience it. For example, if we believe our day will be terrible as we need to go to the dentists, this will frame our day negatively. Yet if we see today as a blessing as it will allow us to ensure we are caring and treating for our body, we can reframe the exact same situation in a completely different way. One leads to a positive outcome, one leads to a negative one. It is our choice which one we want to take.

This also means that we can reframe how we see the world. Many of us get caught up in our own view of what is ‘real’ and what is ‘not’, however in practice the way we experience reality is completely different for each one of us. We may go into a cinema and have a terrible experience whilst someone else has an amazing one. Neither of these are ‘incorrect’. This analogy moreover isn’t just for entertainment, it is actually for every facet of our lives. Work, relationships, hobbies, dreams, the list goes on. This is extremely important to understand if we would like to change how we experience life. Since if life is an experience rather than a unchangeable reality, we can choose to experience it how we like.

What this means is that we can choose how we want to live our lives. We can choose to be happy, if we want to. We can choose to be caring, loving and kind. We can choose to follow our limitless potential. However, if we choose to do so, we must commit to it.

When I returned to normal life this week, I’ve suddenly found myself a lot more challenged on living up to the being I set out for myself. I want to be a caring, loving and creative person. But being creative when I am too tired to write is difficult. I would rather just lie on the couch and watch Youtube. But if I am truly committed, I do it anyway.

The idea of ‘being’ may sound like a simple set of declarations which will magically change our world. But the reason it is so powerful is that we’re committing ourselves to live by our ideals, and by doing this everyday consistently, the magic will then happen.

If we are kind, caring and loving every day, in a year our lives would be completely different. If we committed to live and enjoy life every day we would be extremely happy. The key is committing to it on a day by day basis and sticking to them. Sure, we can make a slip up here and there as we are humans, but we cannot expect change if we only do this once every six months.

So when I wrote about the questions I posed to myself at the beginning of this piece, these were questions that came to me as a result of me declaring my being. By reminding myself of who I am deciding to be, it has pushed me to do the actions I committed to, rather than falling victim to my own short term feelings. Imagine if I can do this for the next ten years. The effect will be incredible. Imagine if I did this for the rest of my life.

Now I want you to consider what this might mean for your life. If you believe in what I’m saying, I am telling you that you can choose how you want to live your life. Yes, that means that if you are in a situation which feels difficult and makes you unhappy, you can indeed reframe it to feel happy about it. This requires you to declare how you want to live your life, and to live by it. If you declare that you want to see the positives in every situation and stick to it, you will be much happier.

So I would love for you to think about who you want to be, and how that might shape the experience you have in life.

Who do you want to be in your life? Are you willing to commit to living by your will?

P.S. I have written an A4 page long declaration of who I am being. If you’re interested, I would be happy to send it to you. Just drop me a message. I can also help you with writing your own document of declaration.

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