We often spend a lot of time fantasising about our next great escape. But what does that say about how we are feeling right now?
I’m travelling to India for ten days. In fact, I’m writing this on my layover in Istanbul Airport. I’ll arrive in Delhi in about 9 hours
A few days ago I started wondering whether I ‘should’ be feeling more excited about my trip. After all, isn’t the excitement part of the fun part. In the midst of my active life, was I missing something?
Ironically, by being more present to my day-to-day experience, I am strengthening the muscle which will allow me to enjoy my travels more fully.
What are you escaping from?
Tag: #change
The tale of overdoing it (on personal development)
This week I’ve experienced a haze of uncertainty in my own sense of self. This has had knock-on effects in how assured I’ve been in how I operate.
A beautiful thing about self-development is that it questions what we think we know. This allows us to shift from old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us, and sometimes gives us the challenge we need. It’s a healthy way to keep on evolving.
But the last few weeks I’ve been pushing myself *a lot*.
The great thing about overcommitment is that we can choose to slow down and reassess. Very few things are genuinely urgent. So when we choose to prioritise and focus, we actually learn far more about ourselves than we would do by ploughing through without stopping to reflect.
Why I returned back to my hometown after five years
Last weekend I traveled to Bath. This was the first time I had visited since the pandemic. Although I did come in 2018, it was a fairly fleeting visit as a tourist. This time, I made a point to revisit the places that had shaped me as I grew up.
Fast forward to January 2023, there wasn’t any particular reason for me to go to Bath. Nonetheless, I felt there was something important for me to explore about my own upbringing.
Before this weekend, I had a relatively negative view of Bath. I would often describe it as a boring place to grow up, and that it was difficult to fit in considering the majority-white background of the people here. Whilst this was not untrue, what I was also missing was the great things that I did get from growing up in an international, humble, historic-yet-modern city.
How to be truly consistent in your life
Early in my career, I worried about being a ‘streaky’ character. I would often ask myself – can I really be consistent over longer periods of time in the workplace? After all, I had done several internships of shorter timeframes ranging from 2 to 6 months.
In fact, this article is actually a particular achievement for me. It marks a year since I last missed writing an article for a week in this newsletter. In other words, I’m on a 53 week streak. It’s crazy to think that I’ve managed to keep up this level of consistency for such a long time.
The consistency worked because it worked for me. It is a personal thing after all. But equally, the way that I am being has shifted to naturally be more consistent.
The way I see and act in the world is very different to when I first started publishing articles.
Feeling ‘very busy’ is a changeable state – no matter our workload
Over the last few years, I’ve spent a lot of time working with people with increasing workloads. I can probably hear the word ‘busy’ being used at least 10 times each week.
This week I read something that really struck me this week – that being busy isn’t actually linked to how much work you are doing. Instead, it’s a state of mind.
Now I’ll be honest – such statements can get people’s backs up – ‘how dare you say I’m not busy, after all look how many tasks I have to do over the next 3 days?!’
Our anxiety is stopping us from making positive change
Through my professional and personal life, I’ve come across many extraordinary, driven individuals who want to make a positive impact in the world.
Unfortunately, what I also see is a lot of stress, anxiety and overwhelm. There is an increase in the amount of burnout which is negatively affecting people’s personal sense of wellbeing. This is sad in of itself – everyone deserves to live a happy, fulfilling life.
But also, when we are stressed or burnt out, we are also becoming far less effective in making the change we want to see in the world. This means the positive change is severely limited.
But the great news is that we can change our outlook. One of the big revelations for me was recognising that the barrier to my own performance was the way I treated myself.
The Life and Times of an ‘Author’
One of life’s great achievements is to write a book. But what happens when you achieve it?
I started my book, Make Diversity Matter to You in 2020. After the events of Black Lives Matter, I wanted to do more to make a positive change in the world. I had previously worked in Diversity and Inclusion in the UK government. My experience demonstrated that the way in which diversity was polarised made it inaccessible to many people who would care.
So writing a book, what an amazing achievement right!? In fact, when I told people they frequently told me how I should be extremely proud.
Except, I wasn’t.
I thought 2022 would be less remarkable than 2020-21. I was wrong.
I’ve found this holiday period a good moment to slow down and reflect on the year – and what better day to do a reflective article than on 31 December?
I’ve firstly noticed how much residual fatigue I’ve been building up, particularly in the last few months. I got hit by an illness for the first two weeks of December, and since then I’ve felt myself battling to return to my previous routines of productivity. Of course, this isn’t a real battle, instead it’s one being waged within my mind.
Looking further back through 2022, I thought this year would be a period of stability and foundation-level building. After 2020 and 2021, years which felt like a period of survival (and physical upheaval for me moving to Belgium) I was hoping for something a little more solid but a bit less remarkable.
Spoiler alert – 2022 felt very different to what I thought it would – it certainly was more remarkable than I expected.
How much have you been overcommitting?
As we head towards the end of 2022, I found myself in a race against time to complete the commitments I had made myself – I wanted to finish a number of things before the end of the month.
But who am I really racing?
I notice that I have a habit of creating smaller commitments for myself that when put together with all the other things I want to do become a gargantuan task. It’s also interesting at how I put a very short deadline.
On the one hand these smaller goals feel more targeted than ones in the distant future. Yet they also give little flexibility – most of these commitments I had made to myself in the last few weeks, essentially giving myself little space to take a break. In hindsight, I gave myself little room for manoeuvre in case life hit.
Life lesson 101: the more you give, the more you receive
This is article no. 101. So I thought I would share a life lesson 101: the more you give, the more you receive.
Giving is so powerful, yet we often get caught up in worrying about what is in it for us. Even when we want to be generous people, this falls away when we are stressed or lose sight of the bigger picture.
When we get in the mindset of thinking about what we are taking, we lose sight of the reciprocal nature of humanity.
How often have we experienced that friend who only reaches out to us when they need something? We can label these people as the ‘takers’ – we learn their patterns, and quickly become suspicious whenever they sporadically contact us. ‘What do they want this time?’. Whether it’s money or one-way emotional support, the conversation is about them and their problems.
I wrote a post earlier this week about how I’ve given out over 30 copies of my book, Make Diversity Matter to You for free. Economically, this does not make sense. I’ve already spent more money giving out this book then I have earnt from sales.