Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash I’ve just woken up after 12 hours of sleep. Apparently, my body was much more in rest than I had realised. I’ve had an intermittent cough the last week, been running on less sleep, and have some bodily wounds which are healing too. I feel better after sleeping so […]
Tag: #personaldevelopment
Re-evaluating the games we play in our lives
I’m not very good at being ‘normal’. I tried it.
In fact, I tried very hard. But the more I tried, the more I ended up seeming like a paid-actor hired into a sample group. I didn’t really fit in, so I learnt what I should say. But then, my rehearsed, polished answers were a little too good to be trusted.
One of the benefits of now having an official autism diagnosis is seeing why the disconnect takes place. When many people recommend certain actions, they don’t often expect you to do it.
An incredibly rapid autism diagnosis (a mere 7 months!)
Based upon everything we’ve discussed, I believe you clearly fit within the threshold of autism’.
I couldn’t help but smile.
I feel like getting my autism diagnosis is a cause for celebration. I can now actually describe myself as Autistic. I don’t need to caveat as ‘probably autistic’ or question whether I really am or not anymore. What I had basically assumed to be the case 7 months ago turns out to actually be true.
Some people will find my reaction quite surprising. After all, isn’t getting an assessment for a neurological and development disorder actually meant to feel bad?
Understanding our unexplained tiredness and anxiety
Photo by Thong Vo on Unsplash I’ve felt a bit humbled this week. For all the returns of energy and activity over the last few months, over the last few days, I’ve felt really tired. I effectively cancelled any and all social plans. On top of that, I’ve also had regular bouts of anxiety. It’s […]
Foregoing the guilt of not always ‘giving’
Photo by Jornada Produtora on Unsplash I’ve known for a long time that I have a hard time receiving things. I’m not talking about literal presents, but receiving help, support or even words of encouragement. It’s only until recently that I really learnt to appreciate compliments people give me – in the past I would […]
Following the breadcrumbs to understand my brain
Yesterday I went to Liege to do an IQ test with a psychologist. The idea was actually to check whether I had an attention deficit disorder, but part of it was also seeing the overlap between that and whether I am a ‘High Potential Individual’
Apparently, in France/Belgium, they speak a lot more about this idea of being ‘high potential’. What’s been a bit weird about this is that the concept of being ‘gifted’ barely exists in anglophone literature. I’m not really sure what to make of it to be honest.
At the very least, it’s pretty clear that I have a neurodivergent disposition.
The tale of the spider in the bathtub
I was back in the UK this week, staying in my parent’s house.
When I went to take a shower, I saw that a spider had taken over the bathtub. There was an impressive amount of webs that had covered the whole area.
I needed the shower, but I saw that it would most definitely kill it. So with a bit of paper I managed to poke at it.
I couldn’t help but reflect that my act of mercy on this poor spider probably felt like a deeply traumatic event for it. I had come along and essentially destroyed its home, along with hurting it from its fall.
Resetting the calibration of our internal motivation
Motivation is like gold dust. When we have it, complex tasks can feel so simple. But when our motivation runs dry, even the most simple of tasks can feel extraordinarily difficult.
‘Refinding’ motivation is a search many of us go on. There’s an abundance of motivational slogans, inspirational quotes and an industry of positive-vibe speakers to cater to this need.
Unfortunately, most of these external sources of motivation have a rather limited effect. Whilst these things can give a temporary boost, they are no match for genuine, internal motivation to succeed.
Learning to express our internal anger
Anger is often seen as a negative emotion. Anger is often synonymous to being petulant or violent. We get angry because we are not accepting something that we ‘should’.
In many social settings, it’s seen as better to refrain from displaying anger. Anger is seen as impolite, or inconsiderate.
It’s true that uncontrolled anger can be unhealthy, and even dangerous. When we are consumed with rage, it can be hard to think clearly. We might act on impulse, or enter into violence.
But the problem is that by trying to avoid conflict, we often unintentionally suppress our anger. Suppressed emotions doesn’t lead to a healthy emotional status.
The critical role of forgiveness in moving forward
Forgiveness is one of the key words in the world of spirituality and religion. This makes sense – it’s better to forgive than hold on to a grudge for many years of our life.
I think we know this intrinsically. Yet it’s a lot more challenging to do in practice.
My recent months has involved a lot of exploration and experimentation. This has meant there have been bumps along the way. People have been hurt. Sometimes I have hurt people. Sometimes people have hurt me. Sometimes, it’s a mix of the two.