the word got around, they said, “This kid is insane, man Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland “Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came, and The world's gonna know your name. What’s your name, man?” - 'Alexander Hamilton', from the Broadway musical, Hamilton
Last weekend I traveled to Bath. This was the first time I had visited since the pandemic. Although I did come in 2018, it was a fairly fleeting visit as a tourist. This time, I made a point to revisit the places that had shaped me as I grew up.
I was born and raised in Bath. Although my family moved to Bangladesh when I was between the ages of 7-9, the rest of the time I lived there. at 18 I went to study in Sheffield, but like most students returned home for holidays over the next few years.
Like many graduates in the UK, I then ended up moving to London for work. There wasn’t really an official point I ‘left’ Bath, but when my parents also moved to London, I had far less reason to return. So I naturally just stopped coming.
Fast forward to January 2023, there wasn’t any particular reason for me to go to Bath. Nonetheless, I felt there was something important for me to explore about my own upbringing. The personal development journey can lead us to different places. Recently, I had felt a calling to return (much like I had done when I went to visit Paris a few months ago).
Back in the day, I used to work in the Roman Baths Museum. I would return to this jobs between my studies and the way I kept my bank balance afloat throughout university. I would work there most holidays for about four or five years.
I had reconnected with some old colleagues over the last few months. One thing leading to another, we managed to arrange a mini reunion of sorts.
Some of us were still based in Bath, others had moved outside the town or to London, but there were a good 10 or so people that I saw. I also managed to blag myself a free entry into the Roman Baths too for a nostalgic walk around. It was a bit jarring to be back, but also great to see how people had since developed over the last 6-7 years.
Whilst in Bath, I took some time for myself. I walked past the house I first grew up in for the first decade or so of my life. Since we had moved to a different house on the other side of town, I hadn’t passed by since then. So this walk was the first time I had seen this house in around fifteen years.
When I have dreams where something dangerous is happening, I often dream about being in this house. I remember one dream I was inside during a zombie apocalypse. This home felt like a safe house, free of the dangers – perceived or real from the external world.
I had a really nice conversation with a lady who saw me wandering around this cul-de-sac. She lived in the house across the road and asked whether I was lost. I had a very nice conversation reminiscing about how we would used to play with our bikes outside the house. Although I didn’t go inside, I could remember the different areas of the house, and how we would keep a lot of toys in the garage for us to play with.
I also took the time to walk through my school. I had forgotten how nice it was, and how fortunate I was to have such a privileged upbringing. My parents had the means to pay for a top-quality education. I had not appreciated what that offered me, but having since seen what else is in the world, I now could appreciate the gifts I had been given.
Before this weekend, I had a relatively negative view of Bath. I would often describe it as a boring place to grow up, and that it was difficult to fit in considering the majority-white background of the people here. Whilst this was not untrue, what I was also missing was the great things that I did get from growing up in an international, humble, historic-yet-modern city.
I felt genuinely welcomed when I came back. Perhaps mentally I had the idea that people would be resentful that I had gone off to live my life, but the opposite was true.
There is a relaxed acceptance that the young will want to move out and experience the world. After all, the lifeblood of the city is linked to the millions of tourists coming to visit. The resident population itself is also filled with people who have embarked on their own world journeys and later settled in the city, perhaps for retirement.
When walking down the road, I heard some younger folk chatting. I don’t recall what they said, but the slow and warm melody of southern English speech was something I hadn’t heard in a long time. I had forgotten how much I had missed it.
I couldn’t help but remark that my recent work on myself has been on how I can be more loving and understanding in the way I speak. The irony is that this was what I had grown up with, and it’s only since moving away to London and beyond that I had forgotten the slowed down, warmth in my voice. This was not something I had to learn, but merely remember about myself.
I returned to Brussels on Monday. It’s probably the first time I felt genuinely homesick when leaving the UK in many years.
Telling ourselves negative stories of the past also serves as a defense mechanism for those of us who leave. But it also deprives us of the pride and gratitude of the place we grew up in.
I still am readjusting to this new shift around my past. The memories of looking back to the past I realise don’t have to be so negative. I don’t have to gloss over where I’ve come from, as if it was something I’m embarrassed by.
Somehow my life journey makes far more sense, and I feel clearer of who I am and where I came from.
This journey isn’t always pleasant. There are things that I’ve seen about my past and about myself that I’ve not liked seeing. But facing these things allows us to genuinely let go of anything that doesn’t serve us. It also allows us to better connect with who we are.
I know that it’s no coincidence that my instinct told me to come back to Bath. There was some healing for me to do on the path of living into my own greatness.
Where does your healing journey take you?
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In November 2022, I released my book, Make Diversity Matter to You. This is to help you understand diversity better for yourself and make a meaningful impact. To purchase a copy, check this link here: https://linktr.ee/tahmidchowdhury
I am a coach and I work with individuals to have awesome and fulfilling lives by shifting their thinking. If you would like to explore what that could look like for you, message me on LinkedIn or email me at [email protected]. I am also open to queries on talks, webinars and podcasts