Tag: #personaldevelopment

The power of asking for what you really want

Recently, I’ve been taking a more direct approach to asking for what I want. LinkedIn is a great example of where this works, but really it exists in any facet of life.

A coach recently suggested that I reach out to somebody else to have a conversation. They were doing similar things – they had written a book and had done a lot of public speaking. They were a few steps ahead of where I am at. It was obvious that I could really benefit from this person’s knowledge, but they were also someone I had never met. They also sounded quite impressive, so I had no idea if they would respond.

I’ve been looking to be more proactive in doing what I say, so I just went ahead and sent a connection request, followed by a message. They responded within an hour. I then asked if we could have a conversation because I would love their advice. By the end of the day, we had booked something in the week later. The conversation itself was really helpful, but the biggest lesson was realising that connecting with someone was far easier to organise than I thought it would be.

Finding clarity in your life will change your world

This week, a friend remarked at the shifts she had seen me make since I had last spoken to her a few months ago. She had really noticed the energy I was giving through the deeper sense of direction and the clarity I had. I’ve had a few conversations with people where they’ve remarked something quite similar. It seems like I have a better idea of who I am.
When people have been telling me this, it’s honestly not a big surprise. I can feel a different energy coming from me. The last few months have been filled with exploration tinged with a sense of uncertainty. This has now shifted to a clearer focus. I know what I want to do, and I know the great gifts I have to make this happen.

If I could bottle the magic formula which has shifted in me to move from feeling unclear to having clarity, I would already have made my money, plus a whole lot more. Unfortunately, the process is a little more complex. That said, there are things that can help us shift towards getting clear in our lives.

Overcoming the ‘dread’ of awaiting something important

I had forgotten the feeling of impending doom we often feel when sitting in the waiting room. The idea of being around lots of sick people can make us worry about what untold mysteries may ail us. It’s no wonder then that many of us associate health check-ups with negative emotions.

Unfortunately, many of the health issues we experience are often exacerbated by us ignoring the problem. At a logical level, I think most of us know that. And yet, we can avoid getting our health checked because it scares us.

One thing that’s helped me massively has been shifting the relationship I have with my mind. There are many areas that the brain can be fantastic – delving into deep problems and finding a solution in an incredibly diverse set of scenarios. But what the brain is not so good at dealing with is uncertainty. Using the brain for these activities will leave us reactive, and often fall into paranoia, anxiety and doubt.

We can enjoy each day – even when we are sick

I’ve been laid low by illness. What I thought was a cough was actually a throat infection. And whilst it’s nothing serious, it still took me out of action for the whole of this week.

This week’s article was prompted by a short conversation I had with someone. They told me that taking time to be sick made them feel bad because they felt unproductive. It made them feel like they are doing nothing.

This is a feeling that many of us have experienced in our lives. We don’t want to let the team down, and feel anxious at the idea of not doing something. When society instills in us the idea that we have to constantly be active, the idea of stopping feels like a bad thing.

But I’ve come to enjoy my sick days much more than I used to. Rather than sit still pondering the universe until I go crazy, I take this as a moment for me to slow my movements and withdraw into myself.

An invitation to try less hard in your life

This is the first weekend I’ve spent at home in Brussels in over a month.

The last four weekends I’ve been away, on a mix of travels through India and successive trips to the UK.

And you know what? I’m tired. Not because of any overt travel fatigue, but because I’ve felt like life has been a consistent set of new hurdles.
The irony is that the only person who fundamentally has been placing these hurdles is myself.

Having now got through a lot of courses and personal adventures, I’m feeling quite worn out. I’m really glad I did these things, but I’m also conscious at how hard I have been pushing myself. Do I really need to live life as if I don’t have time to breath?

How much is your word worth when you commit?

I am attending a three-day intensive in London. This will go deep into our Being – how we can choose to be in our lives. We’ll spend time looking at how we can shift our mindset to live life in a more fulfilling and graceful way.

Life has a way of testing us, and this week has been the test of my commitment to commitments.
I had committed to attending this intensive. On Wednesday I learnt my Eurostar to travel to London was cancelled due to strikes in France, and I couldn’t change it until next week.

But maybe these are the challenges we’re meant to face. I could have chosen to cry woe into the world, or I could choose to figure out a way to deal with it.

‘Being’​ and the power of coming from the heart rather than the mind

Last week, I attended the Ultimate Experience in India. The event was a gathering around ‘Being’, the way in which we choose to ‘be’ in our lives.
The idea is very simple. Our Being sets the foundation of how we show up in the world. We can choose to be loving and kind. We can choose to be the best mother, father, actor or production manager.

What I learnt in Mumbai is that our wisdom starts from our heart. When we recognise that our deeper knowing comes from there, it changes things dramatically. Now, I start from a place of love. The heart gives the framework for the mind to operate in. Coming from love and being in service is a central principle of what I do, rather than an after-thought.

I am a far more emotional and sensitive human than I ever really thought. Now when I look back on it, I was rather sensitive when I was younger, but somewhere along the way I had learnt to push that behaviour away.

Who are you Being in your life?

A tale of three cities – my travels through India

I’m currently in Mumbai, on the third and final leg of my tour of India.
My choice of places to visit was quite haphazard in some senses. Yet these three cities actually have given a really vivid and different set of experiences.
My most poignant moment was going into the slums. Through a chance interaction I spoke to a tuk-tuk driver who ended up taking me into his home. He was a music teacher, and so spent his time teaching kids how to play music. He did this along with his father.

Are you travelling to escape the reality of your life?

We often spend a lot of time fantasising about our next great escape. But what does that say about how we are feeling right now?
I’m travelling to India for ten days. In fact, I’m writing this on my layover in Istanbul Airport. I’ll arrive in Delhi in about 9 hours
A few days ago I started wondering whether I ‘should’ be feeling more excited about my trip. After all, isn’t the excitement part of the fun part. In the midst of my active life, was I missing something?
Ironically, by being more present to my day-to-day experience, I am strengthening the muscle which will allow me to enjoy my travels more fully.
What are you escaping from?

The tale of overdoing it (on personal development)

This week I’ve experienced a haze of uncertainty in my own sense of self. This has had knock-on effects in how assured I’ve been in how I operate.
A beautiful thing about self-development is that it questions what we think we know. This allows us to shift from old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us, and sometimes gives us the challenge we need. It’s a healthy way to keep on evolving.

But the last few weeks I’ve been pushing myself *a lot*.

The great thing about overcommitment is that we can choose to slow down and reassess. Very few things are genuinely urgent. So when we choose to prioritise and focus, we actually learn far more about ourselves than we would do by ploughing through without stopping to reflect.